"Ahhh." she sighed, kicking off her sandals. "Who knew Back to School shopping could be such a strenuous activity?"
"Damnit. It's official. School starts in tomorrow." Timber said, sitting down rigidly on the bed. "We only have one more day of summer, of freedom. One more day to frolic in the sprinklers... one more day to go to bed late and sleep in. One more day before we get back into the DUHN, DUHN, DUHN... daily grind of school."
Angela mocked a horrified gasp.
"Actually only four hours." Jeanine said, checking her watch.
"But on the other hand, school means new friends, phat parties... so I guess it isn't all that bad." Timber continued with a shrug.
"And we can still reenact summertime memories on the weekend." Kelly pointed out.
"But you guys do realize, keeping with tradition and all, we have to do the one bad thing before school. It's a tradition that before the school year starts, you do one thing that marks the end of summer." Timber reminded them.
"We have four hours to think about that Tim. Let's unpack all our stuff!" Jeanine urged excitedly.
"Kelly, you didn't get many clothes." Angela pointed out, suddenly taking notice in her friend's lack of a myriad of shopping bags.
"I already have a lot of clothes." Kelly said softly.
"Kelly, this isn't like you!" Jeanine exclaimed, concerned. "You never pass up a chance to get more clothes."
"Yeah, ever since the Moffatts showed up, you've been acting all weird." Timber said, fiddling with a pair of shoes.
Silence set in on the room. Timber had spoken the words the others had danced around for the past months. Kelly turned and looked out the window.
Jeanine cleared her throat. "Yeah Kel... tell us what's going on."
Kelly sighed. "Nothing." she said quietly.
"Are ya pregnant?" Timber asked.
"Oh yeah Timber, you know how risky abstinence can be." Kelly said sarcastically.
"Uh oh. Evilina is coming out." Timber muttered.
"Kelly, tell us what's wrong, we can help you." Angela soothed.
Kelly sighed. "I'm just tired of being me." she finally breathed out. "I'm tired of being a prude, and of being stuck up. I want to be a different person."
Timber looked at her friend with a raised eyebrow. "This is somehow turning into an after-school special. So I'll tell you what those brain-dead teachers and crack-head parents always say. Kelly, you should try to be you. You're unique and that's what makes you special. You shouldn't care what others think.." she choked out.
"It has nothing to do with others! It has to do with me!" Kelly shouted, pounding her fists on her knees in frustration. "I hate being me! I want to be a different me!" she screamed.
The other three were rendered speechless.
"Let's just forget about it guys. It's alright, don't worry about me. Let's go on and have fun, the traditional way." Kelly assured them with a soft pleading voice.
"Good idea." Timber piped, knowing Kelly only wanted to change the subject. "Let's talk about our plans for tonight."
"I take it you have an idea?" Kelly asked.
A grin spread across Timber's lips. "Oh yeah!"
* * *
Scott fished for the room key in his pocket. "Damnit! Shit, shit, shit!" he cursed, not finding it. "We're locked out!"
"I think I might have the extra." Bob said, searching his own pockets. "No, Dave! You grabbed it off the shelf on the way out, you have it." Bob reminded him.
Dave checked the side pockets of his black leather pants that he had been wearing since the night before. He extracted a plastic key-card from it. "So I did." he stated, inserting it into the slot. He pushed open the door and entered the dark room.
"Thank God. For a second there I thought Dad was going to appear." Clint admitted with a relieved sigh.
"Why would you think that retard?" Scott teased, tossing his flat hair over his shoulder as he flicked on the light.
"I dunno, just a vibe I go--- AGHHHHH!!!!" Clint screamed, seeing his father sitting in the desk chair with a wry smile on his face.
"RUN!!!" Scott cried, ready to take off down the hall.
"Not so fast boys!" Frank said, getting up. "And just where did you go this afternoon?" he asked.
"Nowhere." Dave quickly said.
"It doesn't look like nowhere to me." Frank stated, hands crossed across his chest.
"RUN!!!!" Scott exclaimed again, his feet frozen to the floor.
Frank shut the door before they could make it out of the room. "Sit." he directed, gesturing for the beds.
His four sons, seeing no other alternative, took seats on the bed, bowing their heads as they did every time they were to be scolded.
"Now I remember specifically telling you boys not to leave the room. Do you remember that?" Frank asked, stroking the stubble of his chin.
"No." all four boys replied in unison.
"Well then maybe you have acute memory loss." their father said flatly. "It was interesting how when I sent up room service at noon, I received a phone call shortly after about how there was no one in the room." he surveyed them for a moment before continuing. "Geez, now I have to think up another punishment for you four." he said, making it apparent in his tone that he had no problem with punishing his sons as all. "We're going to do a new punishment called 'quality time'." he informed them with a menacing smile.
"No! Dad! Anything but that!!!" Scott exclaimed. "I can explain! We were sleeping, right? And then we started sleepwalking... and then we ended up downtown, right? And we went shopping for a while, but we were still sleeping..."
Frank stood back and watched his son speak, in awe.
"... and then we went out to eat, right? But we were still sleeping. Then we woke up and came straight back because we knew we were supposed to stay in here all day!" Scott continued.
"Scott, I don't even want to hear---"
"THE DEVIL MADE ME DO IT!!!" Scott cried out in agony.
"One more peep out of you mister and you can just hold up your ankles for shackling. I don't want to hear any more inane babble from your mouth. Now I want all of you to sit in a circle on the bed. We're going to talk."
Bob groaned loudly, shedding his shirt.
"Why did you just do that?" Clint asked.
"It's hot in here. If I'm going to have to suffer through a bitch-fest between Scott and one of us, I at least want to be relatively comfortable.”
"No one will be... 'bitching'... Bob." Frank declared. "We are just going to discuss what's on our minds."
"My ass." Bob said. "If Scott's in the circle, there will be bitching."
"Hey you shut up ass hole!" Scott snapped.
"See?" Bob pointed out.
"All of you quiet!" Frank said. "We are going to talk like adults here."
* * *
"I cannot believe you talked us into doing this Timber." Angela declared.
"Oh come on you guys. It'll be fun." Timber assured them. "If Blink182 can do it, we can too."
While trying to decide on what impish activity the group should partake in, Timber had stumbled upon the idea of them streaking around town.
"Let's just run all the way down the street and back." Timber explained, taking off her sandals.
"Let's just do it guys. It's not like anyone can see us in the dark... especially at ten o'clock at night."
Jeanine shed her shorts and tank top, leaving her in only her undergarments. Timber was still wearing her tank top.
"Come on Kelly, if I'm doing this, so are you." Angela informed her friend as she pulled off her top.
Kelly smiled. This would not only be the beginning of a new school year, but of a new Kelly Alicia Tembolli as well.
"Okay, on the count of three, we get off our underwear and run." Timber said when they were all in only underwear. "One... Two... THREE!!!"
Bras and panties flew everywhere on the lawn of Timber's backyard and the four teenage girls took off running around the house and out onto the street.
* * *
HOUR ONE
"Why don't you just go to hell Scott! You think you're fucking God's gift to women!" Dave shouted, red-faced and angry.
"Naw, he couldn't be!" Bob stated. "Most girls don't like cheap gifts!"
"Up yours Bob!" Scott exclaimed.
"Up yours Scott! Don't talk to my brother like that!" Clint shouted.
"He's my brother too Clint and I'll fucking talk to him however I want!" Scott retaliated.
Frank just watched his sons argue. What started out as a nice conversation had suddenly turned into a verbal assault from all sides.
"FUCK YOU!!!" Scott roared.
"Fuck you!" Bob shouted back.
"Fuck you!" Clint added.
"No! Fuck you!" Dave put in.
"Why are the three of you ganging up on me?" Scott demanded defensively. "Fuck all three of you!"
"I'm not ganging up on you! And I'm not going to gang-bang you either!!" Clint shouted. "So fuck you!"
"Fuck you!" Bob shouted, for the sake of saying fuck.
"Fuck you Bob!" Scott shouted. "You have no place in this argument."
"He does too!" Clint defended.
"Oh, let me guess, because you said he does?" Scott mocked.
"Fuck you!" Clint shrieked.
"No thanks, I don't do favors." Scott quipped.
"Fuck you!" Dave shouted out of context.
"Fuck all four of you! Shut up!" Frank shouted.
His four sons looked at him in surprise. They had never heard their father say the 'f-word' before.
"We are going to start this conversation right." Frank declared. "Now Scott, you seem to have the most anger. Why don't you tell your brother's how you feel."
"Well, okay." Scott said contentedly. "I honestly feel like kicking Dave in the ass so hard, it'll knock him into next Tuesday."
"Fuck you!" Dave shouted.
"Fuck you!"
"Fuck you!"
Frank buried his face in his hands.
* * *
Timber cried out in joy as she did a cartwheel on the Moffatts' front lawn.
"I've never felt so free before!" she exclaimed.
"Let's go down to the mall like this!" Jen suggested.
"No!" Angela quickly said. "Down the street and back, like we planned."
"Okay! Let's go!" Timber exclaimed, taking off with Jeanine close behind.
The four girls ran down the darkened street like bandits in the night.
"Free!!!!!!" Timber and Jeanine sang out, giggling like small children. "Freeeeee Falllllin'!"
"Shut up you guys!" Kelly scolded.
"Why? Being nakie is fun!" Timber giggled, twirling around.
"Oh my God you guys!" Kelly said with a roll of her eyes. "You're acting like crack-heads on payday."
"Let's go back!" Angela suggested firmly.
"No! We have to get to the end!" Timber exclaimed.
"No! Let's go back!" Angela said urgently. "There's a vehicle!"
"A what?!?!?!" Kelly shrieked.
It was too late. The squad car already pulled up beside them.
* * *
TWO HOURS LATER
"Take your time Bob. We're listening." Frank soothed.
Bob gazed up at the ceiling thoughtfully. "Well Scott, I think..."
"It hurt my feeling when..." Frank corrected.
"It hurt my feelings when you told Dad about me and Timber." Bob finished.
Scott smacked his hand to his forehead. "Retard! He forgot!" he scolded.
"Well the damage has already been done..." Dave muttered.
"Well it did hurt!" Bob insisted, glancing in his father's direction.
"Why don't we talk about this for a minute Bob." Frank suggested, unusually calm for such a situation.
"Oh... okay." Bob complied, though he really did not want to.
"First of all, I think I should get this out in the open." Frank began. "I knew."
Bob's jaw dropped. "You WHAT?!?!" he asked in disbelief.
"I knew the whole time Bob." Frank repeated.
"So.. so why didn't you ever say anything?" Bob asked.
"Because I wanted you to tell me." Frank explained. "I trust you Bob and I know what your situation is with Timber, but I wanted you to feel as if you were in control of the situation and come and tell me when you were ready to."
Bob digested this information. "Whoa." was all he said. "That's so..."
"Sappy? Sick? Gag-worthy? Yes. That really is." Scott supplied wryly.
"You don't always have to be such a stuck up ass hole Scott." Dave attacked.
"Yeah! Ass hole!" Clint chimed in.
"Shut up! You both suck donkey balls!" Scott shot back.
"Boys! Boys!" Frank exclaimed, trying to get back the orderly situation they had before. "It hurt me when! It hurt me when! Let's try to refrain from using other terms of preference."
"Okay! Scott, it hurts me when you act like an ass hole!" Dave shouted.
"And Dave! I'm going to hurt you when? Right now!" Scott exclaimed, diving for his brother's neck.
Frank sigh heavily, burying his head in his hands again. Two hours and they were still at one another's throats.
* * *
THREE HOURS GONE BY...
"... and I know that I may not be identical like you two, but I still need to feel like I belong somewhere... you know? And you guys are so close, but you don't really let me in on it." Dave said softly, playing with a thread of the pillow he had situated in his lap.
Bob looked down at his hands, feeling all of his brother's pain.
"We're sorry Dave. We had no idea you felt this way." Clint said, patting his slightly younger brother on the shoulder. "We'll try to be more understanding from now on." he added with a soft smile.
"Yeah Dave, we promise." Bob reinforced.
"Waa, waa, waa! Gag me!" Scott piped inappropriately. "That was so corny that I might have to go hang myself from the balcony by my eyelids."
"Scott." Frank said in a warning tone. "You could try to be a little less insensitive. Why don't you share something? Besides the occasionally rude remark, you've been really quiet." his father said with a grin.
"This sucks. This is boring and it sucks. I'd rather be out." Scott declared.
"Yeah! Out fucking some chick!" Bob shot at him haughtily.
"You shut the fuck up!" Scott exclaimed.
"Why don't you?!" Clint defended.
"Mind your own damn argument!" Scott ordered.
"Make me!" Clint shouted back.
"Yeah! Make him!" Dave and Bob said in unison.
"I don't make trash, I burn it!" Scott quipped.
"Judging by the last few songs you wrote, I beg to differ!" Clint quipped back.
"OUCH!!!" Bob exclaimed, laughing hysterically.
"You take that back!" Scott threatened. "Or I will seriously open up a can of whup-ass!"
"Sure you will! With those birdy arms, you can barely strum your guitar right!" Clint teased.
"Fuck you!" Scott shouted.
"Here we go again." Frank said with a sigh.
Bob was laughing so hard by then, he could barely breathe. He lolled his head back in a fit of laughter, sending him tipping backwards off the bed with a thud. Silence echoed through the room.
"Oh my God!" Bob guffawed from the floor. He broke into another fit of laughter.
"Dad, I think Bob's on crack!" Dave said, partaking in the laughter.
It wasn't long before all five Moffatts were engaging in a huge laughing fest.
"Guys..." Scott said, as his laughter died down. "I don't want to fight." he admitted.
Silence.
"Me neither." Dave finally said, softly.
"See, now we're getting somewhere." Frank said happily.
"I'm sorry I was such an ass spelunker." Scott said with a grin.
"I prefer the term 'rusty butt fucker'." Bob informed them.
"That's gross!" Clint whined with a chuckle.
"Can we refrain from using four letter words that start with the letter F?" Frank requested his ears a bit sore from the profuse cursing.
"You know what guys?" Dave spoke up, ignoring his father. "I wish we could be as close as we were before."
"Fuck you!" Scott cried.
"Fuck you too!" Dave shot back.
The two brothers smiled at each other.
Bob and Clint exchanged a look.
"I missed that." Bob said.
* * *
Mrs. Ghinger Moore pranced into the police station, still clad in her OR scrubs. Her long, glossy dark hair trailed behind her in tiny cork-screw curls.
"Mommy!" Timber exclaimed.
"Well this is definitely new." Ghinger said angrily. She turned to the officer. "Thank you officer and sorry about the trouble. I will call each of their parents as soon as possible."
"No problem Ma'am." the police officer who had taken the girls down to the station said.
Timber secured the blanket tighter around her body as she stood up. The four girls followed Mrs. Moore out of the station.
Ghinger was a tall woman of thirty-nine years. She had the qualities of a model, but with the job of a doctor. This was one of the few times Timber's friends had ever seen her for more than a fleeting moment, she and her husband kept very busy. Ghinger looked seemingly cross as she lead the way out of the station and across the parking lot. The young girls all piled into the back seat.
Mrs. Moore turned in her seat up front. "Streaking?" she asked, with a raised eyebrow.
Timber nodded cautiously.
Ghinger grinned from ear to ear. "Well that’s scandalous."
* * *