She stared out the window, resting her chin on her palm and tapping her pencil lightly. There were so many things to think about other than what was going on between her former friend and teacher. For instance, the party that would be taking place at the Moffatt's house that night. A small smile formed on her lips. She would get to see Dave again. Though she had seen him just the previous day, she never failed to become extremely excited whenever she knew she'd be seeing him again. He had so swiftly become the center of her universe and the more and more they saw each other and hung out together, the closer and closer they became... and the more and more she fell. He had her down on her knees with his spell. Every time he smiled at her, she wanted to kiss him so tenderly on those lips. She wanted to wrap her arms around him and swear never to let go. She wanted him to do the same for her.
A warm, slightly painful, but desirable feeling spread through her gut. She sighed contentedly to herself. Dave. But how did he feel about her? Jeanine twisted a loose piece of her shoulder length hair around the index finger of her spare hand. He was friendly towards her at all times. But what did that mean? She supposed she would find out that night at the party. She'd make the truth come out of him.
With thoughts of the impending party flooding back into the focal point of her mind, another smile slid across her glossy mouth as her deep brown eyes watched a lazy cloud drift across the sky and obstruct the sun's rays. She knew she was going to have a great time. Maybe she'd even get to kiss him... Then a realization dawned on her like the light from the re-exposed sun. This party meant that the boys were actually leaving. There wouldn't be anymore Dave to talk on the phone with every night; how he did love to talk. She could listen to his beautiful, delicious voice forever. The way his tone was so creamy, flowing deep from within him... someplace she couldn't pin-point. Maybe it was his heart. The boy's sincerity was so clear in his eyes. She loved to wallow in his innocence, as if it could clear her of her sins. There had been so many in the past...
She suddenly realized that the room was silent. Looking up, Jeanine came to see that everyone in the room was staring directly at her.
"What?" she asked, shifting her eyes nervously.
"Jeanine," Mr. Richards begrudged, small traces of a smile that was reminiscent of their past on his lips. "I know you like to day-dream about all those boyfriends, but please pay attention." he joked, causing a hum of chuckling to waft through the air from the class.
An innocent joke expected from Mr. Richards. His endless supply of repartees and quips were so well-known by then, and accepted as an everyday part of math class. Jeanine normally wouldn't mind being the brunt of one of them, but the sly smirk smeared across his face made her nauseous.
"That's not funny." she spoke before she could comprehend that her lips were moving.
Denise turned her head back from the front row to glare at her.
"I'm sorry you feel that way." Alan chuckled, heading back to the chalkboard. "Now please get with the program Jeanine. We're going over the answers for the homework. What did you get for number thirteen?"
At that moment, Jeanine made up her mind that she was not about to let him get away with all the shit he had put her through. She had been treated like dirt her whole life, and suddenly, she felt as if she didn't deserve it. Dave would never treat her so poorly, nor would he allow her to be treated like that. He made her feel like a princess. He made her feel like she mattered. He made her feel like more than the whore she figured she was by then. And she suddenly realized that she deserved to be treated that way.
"Not only did I find your remark unfunny, but I found it degrading and lewd." she continued, feeling her heart begin to race as she awaited his reaction.
Silence had fallen over the classroom. Alan looked up from his answer key with a raised eyebrow. She had caught him off-guard for once.
"Your statement suggested that I am promiscuous and only have sex on my mind." she stated, holding her head up high while she was hiding beneath her desk on the inside. "... and I do NOT find it acceptable."
"Someone needs a chill pill." Mr. Richards finally spoke, challenging her with his dark eyes and teasing her with his grin that made the rest of the class laugh.
"Someone needs to learn the rules of a teacher-student relationship."
At this, Alan's lips parted, his face becoming a slight shade of red.
"Your comment is usually classified as sexual harassment Mr. Richards... or would you like me to go down to the administration and check?" she asked, gaining more momentum with each syllable uttered.
Denise was next to speak. "Just because you're a whore and everyone knows it doesn't mean you have to take it out on Mr. Richards who was just making a joke." she stated coldly, her narrowing eyes warning her previous friend severely.
Snickers leaped out of the small sea of students in the classroom like flying fish in a wilderness stream. Jeanine's face turned crimson as she suddenly felt her blazing fire of confidence dwindle down to a minor spark. But she couldn’t not just remain silent. She couldn't let Denise win... again.
"I'm the whore?" she demanded with a soulful edge. "I'm not the one sleeping with him!" She stabbed an accusing finger at Mr. Richards. She instantly regretted the words.
All three of them became an odd shade, Alan's having a slightly greenish tint. In the shocked quiet of the small space, Jeanine leapt up, grabbing her books and her purse. She felt an odd feeling that she wasn't sure how to describe. Part of it was exhilaration, while the other part was anger, tinged with pride in her justification for the situation. As she breezed past the front row of students for the door, she grinned. Dave had always told her she had low self esteem and needed to do something about it. She had just done something about it. She knew he would have been proud.
* * *
"I can't believe you said that!" Timber exclaimed. "My GOD woman! You've got guts!"
"Oh God!" Jeanine whined as the two traipsed side by side down the hallway at the end of school. She had just regaled her best friend with her story of triumph in math class. "I was so scared! I don't even know where the words came from! They just kept flowing!"
Timber stopped in front of her locker, twisting the combination dial while chewing on her pen. After getting it open, she plucked her writing utensil out of her mouth. "He can get in a hell of a lot of trouble for that Jen." she said on a serious plane of thought as she dug out her biology notebook. "I mean, I'm talking loose-his-job kind of trouble... if they prove it."
"So what?" Jeanine demanded, hands on her hips. "He deserves it!"
"Jen..." Timber warned. "Just because you have a vendetta on this guy doesn't mean you can jeopardize his job like that. I mean, this is serious. You could have to go to court... he could be labeled as a statutory rapist and he'd have to put that on his resume for the next ten years." she explained.
"What? Are you going on his side now Timber?" Jeanine demanded, growing upset. "I mean..." she looked up at the ceiling to keep the emotion out of her speech. "Everyone's always telling me... telling me that I need to stick up for myself." he eyes returned to Timber as her friend slammed her locker. "You yourself are guilty of this very thing! And the time I actually do what you've been coaxing me into, I'm wrong. Yeah, well I'm always wrong Timber!" she shouted. "I'm stupid! I always do the wrong shit! And by finally speaking out about something that's going on and that others should know about, I'm wrong! I'm even stupider!"
"Oh please Jeanine!" Timber said vehemently, rolling her eyes at her friend's tirade. "You're little guilt trips don't work on me so save it for someone who's going to pat you on the back and tell you everything's okay. And no you aren't stupider now! You reached all moral bounds and beyond of stupidity when you messed around with your teacher in the first place. Now think about it this way: Is it really worth it to cause more trouble? How would you feel if I told a whole congregation of people that you were fooling around with him when you and him were engaging in your little trysts for a good portion of sophomore year? And lastly: Are you really speaking out about this because you are concerned for the well-being of Denise? Or are you just telling people because you got your ass kicked to the curb like the kitchen trash on garbage day by him, and you want revenge? I'll have you know, Jeanine, that there may be a fine line between doing the right thing because it's right and doing the right thing because it would satisfy your anger, but there still is a line. Don't cross it."
With that, Timber departed in the opposite direction with her anger and annoyance trailing behind her. Jeanine, narrowed her eyes in pure hatred for the situation. If Timber only knew about all the unavenged wrongs that had been done to her in the past...
* * *
"WEEEEEEE!!!!" Bob giggled, flopping back on Clint's bed. "Schools over!!! The party's gonna start really soon!" he clapped his hands, wagging his feet in the air with excitement. "We get to par-tay, so shake your boo-tay! Oh yeah, oh yeah, party over here, ain't nothin over there!"
Clint, swirled around in his swivel chair with an expression that only illustrated his skepticism with his identical triplet's sanity. "See, I knew I should've choked you with the umbilical chord when we were in the womb! I just knew it!"
Bob ceased his celebration, glaring at his brother. "Sit and spin Clint. Just sit and spin."
Dave chose the right time to enter. "Hey you guys, I was thinking." he began, a purely troubled look on his face.
"Oh, I'm sorry. That must have hurt." Clint quipped, rotating in his chair again so he was facing his lap-top on desk.
"Cute Clint. Real cute." Dave grumbled, sitting down on the bed.
"What's the matter Davey?" Bob cooed, widdling his big toe into his younger brother's side.
"I don't know what I'm gonna do!" Dave wailed, falling back onto the bed.
"About what?" Clint asked, continuing his game of tetris.
"I need a girlfriend!!!" he whined. "This sucks!"
"Whoa... okay." Bob said slowly, computing this new information. "That came from left field." he grinned.
"I know." Clint grinned. "That was really random."
"It really was Dave. You need to work on the aproposity of your statements." Bob put in.
Dave snickered. "Aproposity." he repeated. "That's probably not even a word you moron!"
"It is too!" Bob argued. "Apropos is a word!"
"You said aproposity." Clint reminded him.
"Well, yeah! Aproposity sounds better than aproposness! ANYWAYS!!!" Bob shook his head, trying to get back on subject. "What brought on these feelings of needing a girlfriend?" he asked, trying to sound professional.
Dave sighed heavily, his brown eyes shooting across the ceiling. "Well, I mean... it's like..."
"Get it out Dave." Clint interrupted, annoyed with the stuttering of his brother.
"I was until your stupid ass interrupted me!" Dave exclaimed in a highly irritated tone. "As I was saying..." he continued, pointedly looking over at his slightly older brother. "It's like, every time I see someone having a girlfriend, I get so... jealous! Everyone is finding the person who is meant for them while I'm just kind of standing here with no one."
"Bob's not with the one he should be with!" Clint spoke up.
"WHAT?!?!" Bob exclaimed.
"Oh come on Bob." Clint rolled his eyes, whirling back to face them after closing his game on the screen. "It's so painfully obvious that you and Carmen won't end up getting married. You guys are such a fling!"
"What?" Bob yelled again. "You jerk! I happen to love her, so up yours."
"You love her, but you don't love her like you love Timber." Clint pointed out.
"Timber's my best friend!" Bob exclaimed, turning a bright shade of red. "Of course I love her differently."
Clint held up a hand to silence his brother, shaking his head in utter defiance. "Yeah, but in the end, you're more likely to end up with Timber that Carmen. You and Carmen are all about the physical experimentation that other kids have at this age, while you and Timber have a connection on a whole other level. Just the way you guys are such compliments of one another..."
"I refuse to hear this!" Bob shook his head, covering his ears. "I mean, if you hated my girlfriend so much, you could have told me." he showed signs of his hurt in the way his voice cracked with emotion.
"I don't hate Carmen!" Clint contradicted. "She's awesome... I'm just saying, she's not the type for you in the long run. You guys are such different people."
"That's bullshit Clint." Bob said, showing subtle hints of his utter anger.
"It's the truth." Clint stated with a plain shrug.
"As right as Clint may be, we're talking about ME HERE!!!" Dave shouted, gripping locks of his hair.
"I'm not trying to be mean Bob..." Clint began. "I mean, I would love to hook up with Timber myself, so feel blessed that I even point this fact out to you..."
The doorbell chimed in the foyer downstairs.
"They're here!" Bob exclaimed, refusing to look at Clint as he leaped off the bed and ran for the hall.
"FUCK! None of my problems ever get solved!" Dave lamented, throwing his hands in the air as he stood up and followed his triplets.
When Clint arrived at the bottom of the steps, Bob was already engaged in a lip-lock with Carmen. He pulled back from his girlfriend and shot Clint a haughty look, before snaking his arm around the girl's waist and leading her towards the steps. Clint rolled his eyes.
"What's up with him?" Timber asked, from the other end of the foyer.
"What?" Clint asked.
"Bob, what's you do to him this time?" she asked. "He looks pissed at you."
Clint just grinned. "You tell a guy the palpable truth and he can't take it." he shrugged, slinking his arm over her shoulder and heading after the others to the living room. "But it's our surrogate birthdays, so let's have a good time." he dismissed.
* * *
By the time eight o'clock rolled around, Scott had managed to get his parents out of the house. Frank and Sheila, though still untrusting of the combination of their four beloved sons and parties, decided to pay a visit to an uncle of the boys who lived a rather lengthy drive from their house. The exchange of birthday gifts was completed, as were other birthday-party traditions, including an X-rated version of the classic game 'Pin the Tail on the Donkey.' People were already starting to fill the house, accompanying the music that already did so. Timber made her way through a kitchen filled with youths drinking and conversing. She collided with Jeanine before she had a chance to see her.
"Oh! Sorry." she said, noting that she had nearly spilled her drink on her friend's top.
Jeanine just shook her head, starting to walk away. Timber grabbed her arm.
"Wait Jen." she said, smiling slightly. "I'm a bitch, I'm dealing. Let's not fight."
"Timber..." Jeanine started to say. "All that shit you said was really mean. I mean, it's like, the one time I actually get hold of something that makes me feel like I actually have a purpose on this earth... it's like you have to drag me down." she stated, obviously hurt.
Timber rolled her eyes. Jeanine was overdramatizing things; as usual. So she resorted to the only thing she knew to do in such a situation. "There's a pale moon in the sky, the kind you make your wishes on!" she began to sing as loud as she could, grasping Jeanine's hand. Even as the girl pulled away, Timber continued to hold her hand. "Like the light in your eyes, the one I built my dreams upon... It's not there any longer, something happened somewhere. But me, I'm getting stronger, we must stop pretending... I can't live this life!"
"Timber..." Jeanine grumbled. "Don't start..."
"I don't care who's wrong or right, I don't really wanna fight now more! Too much talkin' babe... Let's sleep on it tonight, I don't really wanna fiiiiight no morrrrre!!!"
"Timber!" Jeanine hissed. "Shut up!"
Timber looked directly in her friend's eyes and continued to sing. "I hear a whisper in the air, it simply doesn't bother me. Can't you see that I don't care, or are you looking right through me?? Seems to me that lately, you look at me the wrong way and I start to cry...Could it be that maybe, this crazy situation is the reason why???"
"Timber..." Jeanine warned. People were beginning to stare.
"I don't care who's wrong or right, I don't really wanna fight no more! Too much talkin' babe..."
"Timber..."
"Let's sleep on it tonight cause I don't really wanna fight no more! Tired of all these games..."
"Timber!"
"Baby don't you know, that I don't wanna hurt no more! It's time I'm walkin' baby!" the grin on her face caused one of similar caliber to take shape on Jeanine's. "Don't care who's to blame! I don't really wanna fight no more! This is time for lettin' go..."
Jeanine attempted to yank her hand away again. "Let go!" she exclaimed.
"HANGING ON TO THE PAST!!!!!" Timber continued, over the blaring of the music from the living room. By now, the population of the kitchen was watching this performance. She decided to add more effect by dropping down on one knee. "It only stands in our way-ay-ay-ay!!! WE HAD TO GROW FOR OUR LOVE TO LAST!!!! BUT WE JUST GREW APART!!!!!"
"Shut up!" Jeanine hissed, her face bright red.
"I DON'T CARE WHO'S WRONG OR RIGHT! I DON'T REALLY WANNA FIGHT NO MORRRRE!!!"
Jeanine grabbed Timber's shoulder with her free hand and literally yanked her back on her feet. "OKAY! No more fighting! NOW SHUT UP!!!" she snapped, storming from the room with utter humiliation.
Timber turned to the spectateurs. "Don't worry guys, everything's okay now. Y'all go back to your partyin', and remember: Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, fuck it."
With that said, she exited the kitchen area in search of more wine coolers.
* * *
The song that was thundering from the speakers in the living room faded, changing to another one. Dave, who had long since forgotten about his sorrows, was standing by the big window with some people he knew, engaged in conversation while sipping on a cup of beer from the keg that was set up in the laundry room. Bob and Carmen were out in the middle of the floor dancing, drinking, and making out at the same time; both were already slightly tipsy, as was practically everyone else in the near vicinity. The house was already crowded with writhing teens, pulsating music, and the stench of alcohol and smoke: the key components to a party at the Moffatt house.
Jeanine wandered into the living room, spotting Dave almost right away as he dislodged from the group he had been conversing with. He downed the remaining contents of his plastic cup, heading directly at her. She grinned at the ridiculous, cone birthday hat he wore on his head, with the elastic band hooked under his chin. He smiled at her.
"Hey Jeanine, what's up?" he asked, approaching her in the archway from the foyer.
"Cute hat." she snickered.
"Timber." he exclaimed. "She's already drunk as hell. I just past her in the hallway singing 'It's My Party I Can Cry If I Want To,' or whatever that song's called. That girl shouldn't drink. She gets sloshed after one glass of wine." he grumbled, removing the cap and fiddling with it in his hands.
Jeanine chuckled. "I saw her about an hour ago and she was acting really strange." she commented.
Dave grinned, standing unusually close to her as a fleet of people flowed past him. She could smell the hint of beer on his breath. Just the scent made her drunk; or maybe it was the fact that he was so close to her. She bit her lip coyly.
"You certainly look gorgeous." he stated, opening scanning her body with his sincere, maple eyes.
Jeanine was clad in a pair of black pants and a violet colored tank top. Though it was winter outside, it was quite warm inside the house with all the people.
"Thanks Dave." she smiled shyly, tucking a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. "You look great too." she countered, feeling a flush creep into her cheeks.
"This old thing?" Dave joked, flashing her his pearly whites as he pulled on the cotton of his long-sleeved, black shirt.
Jeanine giggled. "Dave..." she shook her head, continuing to laugh.
"What?" he asked, nudging her with his elbow.
"You are so... strange." she stated, biting her lip again.
"You're nervous." he commented.
"Why do you say that?" Jen asked, looking directly into his eyes for the first time in a while.
"Because you do that... lip thing." he grinned, reaching out and running his fingers over her bottom lip so delicately, it caused her breath to catch in her throat. He treated her like she was a delicate rose whose pedals were much too valuable to handle roughly. She loved the way he made her feel.
"You're doing it again." he whispered, then broke into more laughter. He was already pretty tipsy. "You're so gorgeous." he snickers, leaning forward and pressing his lips on her cheek.
Jeanine felt the warm and fuzzy feeling grow, causing her feet to tingle. As his hands slowly slipped around her waist, her heart began the rap wildly in her chest as she drowned in the heat his body was exerting. His cologne filled her nostrils and made her soar with the stars as she got high off of it.
He suddenly tugged at her hips, his hands drifting low as he began to sway to the pacing music.
"Let's dance." he suggested candidly, pulling away and leading her out into the room.
Jeanine smiled weakly, feeling like merely a puppet and he, her puppeteer. His arms around her caused her to feel weak and empty, but so full at the same time. The room began to swirl as her passion and the alcohol she had drank began to take her over. It wasn't long before she was limp in his tight grasp with tears flowing freely out of her eyes. She loved him so much it hurt sometimes. She felt like she couldn't catch her breath. But he was in love with Angela.
* * * Strains of the music snaked up the steps and under the door into Scott's room, barely audible but non existent in the ears of the two teens that were passionately kissing on the bed in the darkness. Scott's nimble hands grazed the skin of Angela's stomach as he delicately laid his lips on hers. His eyes were relaxed and the lids were shut loosely. He only felt so content when he was with her.
As his hands surged up her chest, feeling her breasts with such gentleness and caressive sleight of hand. She breathed so softly against his skin as his kisses traveled down her neck. His body somehow found it's way on top of hers.
Scott was so blind with the love he felt at that moment. He wanted to lay like that, together with her, their bodies touching, forever. He would never grow bored. They could just bask in the glow of one another's feelings and emotions until the end of time. He wanted to make love to her.
His skillful fingers drifted down, returning to her stomach as he scooted further on top of her. Her arms looped around his back to hold him to her. He started to unfasten the clasp to her black pants. She made a sound that he barely registered. Getting more into the heated moment, his hands moved into her pants, feeling her warmth on the smooth cotton of her underwear.
"Scott..." she said, trying to squirm out of his reach.
"Mmmm..." he mumbled, covering her lips with his own.
Angela tried to move her face, but was trapped within his mouth as his hand began to tug at her underwear while the other one returned to her chest.
"Scott..." she moaned, pulling her face back from his.
He returned his kisses to her neck as she attempted to pull away from him.
"Scott!" she cried out, shoving him with her hands. "Stop it."
His eyes shot open from his blissful state as he was pushed with Herculean strength onto the bed beside her. Angela instantly sat up, re-clasping her pants with her back to him.
"You always do that!" he said, somewhat angry with the deprivation of her love he now felt. "Is it me?" he demanded.
Angela turned back to face him, situating her bra under her black tank top. "What?" she demanded, matching his tone.
The side of his face was glowing with the pale light from the moon outside. He lowered his eyes and his lashes were silouetted across his cheek. "You never let me... touch you. God Angela! I love you so much! And I... I just want to drown in you... but you never let me."
She shook her head, her curls bobbing against her cheeks. "Scott... that's not fair."
"How is that not fair?" he demanded.
"Look, you've had some drinks. Maybe you should just have some time alone for a few minutes Scott. This is not the best time to talk." She raised up from the bed and started to walk towards the door.
"NO!" he shouted angrily, seizing one of his pillows and chucking it to the floor. "Stop walking away from me!"
Angela was shocked by his hostility and stopped in her tracks, pressing her back against the wall. "Scott. you're drunk."
"I am NOT drunk!" he exclaimed. "I wish you'd stop saying that!" He thumped his fists down on the bed.
"Just calm down." she soothed, blinking measuredly.
Scott made a face that resembled a pout he used to make when he was a little boy and didn't get his way. "I love you." he said gently, sitting back on his heels with his hands clasped in his lap. "And I want to show you how much in a more... physical... way." he admitted quietly.
It took Angela a moment to realize that he was saying he wanted to have sex with her. The initial concept caused her heart to pulsate at a much quicker pace than she was accustomed to, but after a moment of contemplation, she regained her composure and merely sighed. When their eyes met again, she saw the sadness that filled his two, large, blueish-grey orbs. His eyes always turned grey when he was sad.
"And it's so frustrating when you keep shoving me away from you and denying me the right... the privilege... to share my love with you." he continued, clutching his hair.
"Well if you want love so bad, why don't you go find some random girl and fuck around with her for a while?" Angela demanded, flinging open his bedroom door. "Oh wait, you already did." she added dryly.
"You still haven't forgiven me for that, have you!?" Scott demanded, a surprising reaction in her opinion. She had expected him to cower away from her as he usually did when the subject came up. "You're still holding that against me!"
In the light from the hallway, she could see his face much more clearly. His countenance was now that of accusation and mild anger. Her facial expression showed her utter annoyance for him at that moment.
"Why shouldn't I?" she demanded.
"Because it's not healthy!" he shot back, throwing his hands up in emotion. "You dwelling on something that happened eons ago isn't going to make our relationship any stronger."
"You messing around behind my back isn't going to make things better either Scott! Is it all about the sex with you?" she demanded, seeming hurt. "I mean, when I'm not there to supply you with that sexual relief, do you just move on to someone who can?" Her questions were spurting out quicker than he could answer them. "And if I don't sleep with you tonight, will you just leave me?"
"NO!" he shouted, tugging on his hair again. "Fuck Angela! I love you! I thought you knew that by now!"
"'I love you' is just words." she whispered, closing her eyes to prevent any of her emotions from exploding. "You can say that so liberally..."
His tone softened to a lull. She could barely hear him from where she was standing. "And you can keep breaking my heart so liberally..."
"Scott..."
"No Angela." he shook his head. "No... just stop."
She heaved a sigh before turning to make her expected exit.
"Wait!" he exclaimed. "Don't walk away."
"What am I standing here for?" Angela beseeched him. "It seems as if we're going in circles. Maybe we need a break or something... I--- I can't even control what I'm saying anymore. This is so confusing."
Scott struggled off the bed, his feet numbly carrying him to her. "Angela, just please... trust me." he murmured, taking her hand. "I love you. And if I don't say it enough, I'm sorry. And if you don't believe me when I say that I will never make the same mistakes I've made in the past, then I'm sorry. And if I don't say I'm sorry enough... then I'm wrong. But I do love you, and you don't ever have to doubt it. I'll work my hardest to make you so sure... so positively sure that you know. Baby... God only knows that I'm nothing without you. I'd merely be the same... wanton being that I was before. And that is one thing I do not want to be."
"I forgive you Scott... I forgave you a long time ago." she whispered, lowering her eyes from his. "I just... I just can't let go."
He trailed his fingers across her cheek. His eyes were so incredibly clear at that moment, the signs of alcohol in his system were pushed back and currently nonexistent. She looked towards his lips, knowing he was going to kiss her. Though she longed for his lips on hers, she didn't want to kiss him until it was resolved. The worried feeling she felt in her heart was too much to ignore.
"I don't want you to leave." she spoke, before having any knowledge that her lips had moved.
"I know, Baby, I know." he whispered, pressing his lips to her forehead. "I know..." he soothed as he pulled her into his chest.
He arms enveloped his waist and she felt as if she could not be too far from those arms. Without him, she would shrivel and become nothing.
"You're leaving in two days..." she whimpered into the warm fabric of his navy-blue shirt. "Two days..."
The reality of his departure suddenly began to sink in fully. He felt an odd twist in his gut, realizing he didn't want to leave either. Three months was a long time which translated into a long time of misery. He would miss the scent of strawberries in her hair.
She sniffled, resting her dampened cheek on his chest. "Remember that song..." she spoke up.
Scott moved his eyes up from the large, slanted rectangle of light cast through the doorway. He looked down at her, so small in his arms, but fitting so perfectly. She came up to about his nose, perfect height for him to inhale her dark, chocolate colored curls.
"The first song we ever danced to..." she elaborated then sighed. "That's when I was sure."
"Sure of what?" he asked.
"Sure that we were in love." she replied, sniffling again as more tears coursed down her cheeks. "Sure that we belonged together."
Scott smiled, running his fingers in her silky locks as he held her to him. She sighed again, closing her eyes gently and enjoying his scent. It was a scent that was only Scott.
"Saying I love you, is not the words I want to here from you." he began to sing. "It's not that I want you not to say but it you only knew... how easy it would be to show me how you fell... More than words is all you have to do to make it real. And you wouldn't have to say that you love me, cause I'd already know." he swayed gently, pausing to run his lips over her head.
Angela tightened her grip on his waist. He remembered.
* * *
"AGHHHHH!!!!!" Timber screamed, jumping up on the coffee table with her fifth wine cooler in hand. She began to move to the music that was blasting from the speakers.
Bob shrieked a laugh, clapping his hands in time to the music as well. She gestured for him to accompany her up on the table and he complied, shrieking at an equal decibel.
"HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!!!!" he shouted. "I'M THE KING OF THE WORRRLLLD!!!!"
"Oh brother..." Kelly grumbled from the other end of the room, watching the two drunken teens flail around.
She shifted her gaze to the sofa. Ben had quickly found a girl whom he was having a splendid time making out with at that moment. Clint was on the floor beside the couch, leaning back against it and sucking down his sixth beer while chatting with a few guys Kelly recognized as students at her school. One of them was a junior, however, she did not know the other two of them. The forth guy did seem oddly familiar in a eery sense of the word. She squinted for a moment, trying to get a clearer view of him as a few people passed in front. Her heart began to speed up as the guy turned and locked eyes with her...
"Yo Kells-bells!!!" Carmen giggled, tapping her friend on the shoulder.
Kelly jumped, spinning around. She instantly received a nose-full of the sweet, but rancid scent of liquor. Carmen was stone drunk, tumbling over slightly before catching herself and straightening her black mini-skirt.
"Oh shit... the ground just won't stay still..." she chuckled. "This party is the SHIT!!" she screamed.
Kelly wrinkled her nose. "Okay girl, you are wasted as hell."
"Fuck yeah!" Carmen exclaimed, throwing her hands up and nearly smacking Scott who was entering the room behind her.
"Whoa there Carm. Watch the limbs." Scott chuckled.
His arm was attached to Angela's waist. At that last comment, Angela began to giggle, hanging on him as she snorted and began to giggle harder.
"Oh my GOD you guys." Kelly shook her head. "Is ANYONE sober here?" she managed a light giggle.
Scott and Angela looked at one another then replied in unison. "NOPE!"
Angela errupted in more giggles, lazily flinging her arms around Scott's neck and pressing her lips on his, wasting no time with her tongue. Kelly raised an eyebrow as the two literally began to sloppily make out before her eyes. Angela made a soft moaning sound, wrapping a leg around his waist. He slid his hand down over her butt, pulling her up on his body so she was straddling him. They nearly collapsed against the wall, still continuing to suck the air from one another's mouths. The argument and release of emotions that had taken place not even an hour before was completely forgotten after a few shots of liqueur.
"Get a room." Kelly muttered.
"Oh come on Kelly!" Carmen spat out in a husky voice. "Get a beer and get with the times girlie! We're all getting wasted! Getting wasted is cool!" She twisted her body so she was looking at Kelly in a somewhat upside down position. "Everybody's doing it..." she sang.
"I've had two glasses of that piss water you guys call beer." she defended herself. "I have a high tolerance though, thankyouverymuch."
"My ass!" Carmen spat, doing somewhat of a pirouette before departing.
Kelly raised an eyebrow, turning her attention to where Clint was seated. She hoped to get another glimpse of the familiar face she had seen, trying to place who it was. She had only had a quick look at his face, but gradually, she was beginning to recognize him and it chilled her. It suddenly dawned on her. She knew who the guy was. What was he doing there?
Searching the crowd for him, she spotted his mass of wavy brown hair drifting above the heads of others. In a break in the throng, she spotted his face and was positively frozen as Trevor turned to her and smiled a menacingly evil smirk. Kelly stepped back, knocking into someone behind her.
"Hey, whoa..." Scott mumbled, tearing his lips from Angela's.
"Scott..." Kelly murmured. "Scott!" she screamed, gripping his arm as she couldn't move her eyes from the single person that had caused her more pain than anyone she had ever met in her life.
"What?" Scott asked, turning to her with a groggy look in his eyes.
Angela planted tiny kisses on his neck, giggling. She was not only drunk on the liqueur she had previously ingested, but from him in general. The feeling started in her stomach and spread through her body. She ran her lips over the freckle on his neck just over his collar bone.
"He's hear." Kelly breathed, turning to look back across the room.
"Good to know." Scott replied, having no clue what she was talking about but not caring at all.
Kelly re-spotted him, heading for the front door. He turned back and grinned at her again. At that moment, instinct told her to run away. But she realized that she was tired of hiding. So she headed towards him...
* * * The air outside felt like an entirely different climate compared to the air inside the crowded house. As Clint met this tundra in his red tee-shirt over his white one and dark jeans, the goose-bumps instantly erupted on his skin. In his hazy mind, he could have sworn he had seen her go out there.
* * *
"Trevor!" Kelly's voice cut through the air like an ax, full-force against tree-bark.
He spun around to face her, the tail of his freshly donned leather trench coat flapping as his shoes crunched in the hard layer of icy snow over the lawn. That familiar grin took shape over his lips when he saw her standing a little ways away in her grey dress. She was scared. He knew her and he knew she was scared. He could feel the fear emanating from her body. The prophecy had come true. He knew he would be seeing her again, so helpless before him.
"Well, well, well." Trevor snickered. "And what have we here?" he asked, cocking his head to the side to take her in.
Her mien remained sturdy, harsh and biting like the wind that rolled through at that moment. "You ass hole." she spat.
He half shrugged. "What can I say?" he asked, his tone all too calm and nonchalant for the situation.
"Words will never take back what you did." she whispered.
Trevor placed a finger to his chin in a pensive stance. "And what exactly is it that I did?" he asked, his smirk all too much for her to bear.
"You raped me." she replied. "You fucking ass hole. You're a rapist."
He narrowed his light eyes. "You wanted it." he spat. "You know you did. You were begging me for it."
"I did NOT want to be raped Trevor!" she shouted, trying to keep the tears down. She swallowed around the lump in her throat, attempting to push it down, but failing miserably. Her voice sounded hallow with a packed sob.
"What's the matter Kelly?" Trevor asked in a teasing tone. "Are you gonna go and cry now?" he snickered approaching her.
She bit her lip, regaining her fierce expression as she stood right where she was, the cold air hitting her bare legs and freezing them to the bone. He wasn't going to make her move. She was sick of him making her move...
"You scared of me?" he asked, now towering over her at a mere few inches away.
"No." she growled, narrowing her eyes.
"Well you should be." he whispered, his lips curling up into another one of his smiles.
She nearly abhorred, recognizing that grin as the same one he wore the second she had let him into her bedroom...
"Because I'm invincible." he purred. "Or do you not know who my father is? Nothing you can do will get me in trouble. My father owns this town, and that means I get off scott-free."
With all the anger she had garnered for the past months, she shoved him so hard he nearly fell backwards to the snow.
"FUCK YOU!!!" she shouted. "I will NOT stay silent! I will bury you if it takes my whole life!!!"
"You're nothing but a baby bird Kelly." he snapped. "You're weak! You're nothing!"
"No! No, no, no, NO!" she shrieked, the tears streaming down her cheeks. "YOU'RE NOTHING! YOU ARE SHIT!!!!"
"Sticks and stones Kelly, sticks and stones." he taunted her. "I raped you and you can't do anything about it." he smirked, seeming to be proud. "I could do it again, and you'd still be powerless."
Her bottom lip quivered as she remained silent. He stepped towards her.
"What? Are you gonna scream?" he challenged.
"Why did you come here?" she whispered, crossing her arms over her chest.
A snide laugh rumbled off his larynx and he winked. "Because I can."
"I don't ever want to see you again." she whispered. "GET OUT OF HERE."
"Or else?" Trevor raised an eyebrow, very amused by the reaction he was receiving. "You can't stop me. You couldn't before, and you can't now." he grinned, touching her arms gently.
Kelly yanked back.
"What? Don't like to be touched?" he teased, grasping her shoulder.
"LEAVE HER ALONE!" Clint shouted, running and diving onto Trevor. Both of them went tumbling to the snow.
"What the fuck?" Trevor exclaimed.
Clint landed on top of the pile of limbs, wasting no time attaching his fist to Trevor’s jaw.
"Fuck!" Trevor moaned, grasping the drunk boy's wrists and maneuvering them so he could gain the upper hand on top.
Clint reached out and gouged his fingers into the corner of the larger boy's mouth, yanking with all his might while his other hand attempted to ward off the flailing fists of his opponent. Trevor bit down on the Moffatt boys fingers and Clint flinched, yanking them away.
"What? You want some too?" Trevor challenged, gripping his hands around Clint's neck.
"NO!" Kelly screamed, running up behind her enemy and kicking his as hard as she could between his legs.
Trevor moaned with pain, clutching his damaged organ. Clint took this as an opportunity to sloppily get on top again. He had never been in a physical fight, but was strangely enjoying it. As he began to lambaste Trevor wildly with his fists, not allowing the boy any chance for response, he felt exhilarated. His caramel eyes glinted wildly with passion. Blow after blow, his hands wouldn't stop; his hands didn't want to stop...
"Clint!" Kelly exclaimed, yanking at his shoulders.
Clint was pulled backwards, falling back to the snow, his breathing wild and angrily.
Trevor moaned, his hand slowly moving to his bleeding nose. He managed to get to his feet. "You guys are fucking crazy!" he shouted, stumbling for his black Mustang.
"Ya daaaaaaaamn right." Clint slurred, digging his fists in the snow to cool the raw flesh.
Trevor clutched his jaw, staggering a bit and nearly falling. "I'll see you later baby-bird." he snapped at Kelly, digging for his keys.
"You stay away from me!" she shouted.
As he plucked his keys from his pocket, he glanced back at her and his smile was sickening. She dug her hands in the snow by the wall of the house and seized a decorative brick that sectioned off the landscaping bed. she didn't know how she knew it was there, but none the less, she ran for him and watched his eyes go wide.
"What the---?" he exclaimed, stepping back against his car as she raised the brick over her head.
Wincing, her squeezed his eyes shut, waiting for the blow. The sound of shattering glass rang in his ears. His eyes reopened to see his smashed driver's side window. Kelly jumped up onto the hood of the car, kneeling and clutching the brick in her trembling hands as she crunched it against the glass repeatedly, watching shards land on the beige interior.
"What the fuck are you doing?!?!" he shouted.
She continued to shriek, smashing the window with all the anger and pent-up aggression she had. She smashed his window for the baby she could have been carrying. She smashed it for the pain she felt every time she remembered the night he had stolen her innocence, stolen her virginity. The tears dripped down on the blood that was coming from her own hands. The brick dented the hood repeatedly, as the glass was all broken out.
"MY CAR!!!!" Trevor continued to whine, his eyes falling as he took in the mass of scraped paint, dents, and broken glass. He shoved her violently off the hood, rushing to climb behind the wheel before she could get up from where she lay on the smoothly paved blocks of the plowed sidewalk.
Her vision went black with the blow her head had taken against the cement. The sound of his screeching tires echoed in her ears and she smiled, despite the tears that still dampened her rosy cheeks. Revenge. Though she could never take back the night, she had gotten revenge. Now she could focus on something she had been meaning to do for a while. She opened her hazel eyes, staring at the star-studded sky with the full moon glowing brightly. The man on the moon was smiling at her. She was a new person. She intended to move on because she planned never to see Trevor again. And if she did see him, there would be no more fear. There would only be a small smile of her own because now she had the situation in the palm of her hand.
"Clint..." she breathed, rolling onto her stomach and half-crawling to him.
He moaned lightly, slurring a few words out before laughing wryly. She reached him and looked down into his eyes. They looked at her, but didn't focus.
"I love you." Kelly whispered, settling her body on top of his.
He wrapped his arms around her waist and allowed her to kiss him with her tongue. As their bodies rolled over in the snow, he, barely feeling the chill against his bare arms, she finally felt like she was living again. The taste of beer was thick in his mouth, but she had no cares in the world. She wanted him so badly, her whole body tingled.
"Fuck me Clint..." she moaned as his hand gripped her breast. "I need you so badly..."
"Mmmm..." he moaned, running his other hand through her hair as his lips moved down her neck.
"I need you Clint..." she continued to inform him, her tears starting again. "Fuck me... please..."
"Mmmmhmmm..."
Knowing she was getting nowhere, she tugged at his tee-shirt, trying to get it over his head.
"Wait!" he suddenly exclaimed, his eyes shutting slowly then reopening at the same pace. "Wait, wait..." he mumbled. "We can't."
"Yes we can..." she pleaded, the tears trickling down her cheeks. He was rejecting her. She couldn't be rejected. "I need you... I wanted you to be my first Clint... but that was stolen from me..."
"Kelly..." he tried to grasp any sense of reality from his drunken state. He willed his eyes to focus on her face, but all he could see was a fast-paced blur around his eyes.
"I need you to right the wrong he's done." she whimpered, clinging to his tee-shirt and weeping.
He rested his hand on her head. "We can't." he slurred.
"Why not?" she wept.
"'Cause I'm not... I'm not ready." he explained, proud of himself to be making actual sentences with his mind felt like applesauce in his skull.
She began to sob. "I wasn't ready either..."
"Who is ready?" he asked, marveling at how the stars seemed to bleed together in clusters of white against the navy sky. "The pope?" he asked then giggled. "Pope... rhymes with poop..."
Kelly sputtered a laugh, peeking her eyes out from his tee-shirt and looking up at him. "I love you." she breathed, moving her lips back to his.
He responded to her kiss, his lips being the only coherent part of his body. They made out with such urgency for what seemed like days in Kelly's world. The way his body was with hers felt so perfect...
He pulled back, seeming relatively sobered up by her kisses. "Let's go inside." he whispered, feeling that if he spoke too loud, he would shatter the perfect stillness of the night.
Kelly nodded, getting to her feet with him. He teetered for a moment, chuckling to himself and doing a little spin before heading back to the front of the house.
"He got knocked the fuck out!" he laughed, stumbling up the steps.
Kelly chuckled and watched him. That Friday was a day of confrontations and the resurrecting of spirits. Not only had she confronted her rapist, something she thought she would never do, but she had realized just how much she loved Clint and she came to terms with those feelings.
Kelly wasn't the only one who had figured things out that night. Her cousin had also confronted all the feelings that had haunted her for the past months. She officially closed the chapter on Mr. Richards, though part of her knew it wasn't over. Part of her knew that she would still have to walk back into the classroom on Monday. She would still have to see him. But this time, she was the one with the power. She was sick of being used. She wasn't going to put herself in the position to be walked on again. She needed to be around good people, and Dave was definitely good people. The only problem was that she knew he didn't love her. He was in love with her best friend still. But that would change. Jeanine wanted him, and some things never changed. She still always got what she wanted...
* * *