Bob and Clint bustled about in the kitchen, trying to put together the adequate snacks for a night with their best friends. Their bags were packed and sitting in the foyer by the door; they would be leaving the next afternoon. Bob had slept most of the morning, just awakening at the late hour of four, and after a brief shower, he joined his early-riser of a twin in the kitchen.
"Hey guys." Dave yawned, padding into the kitchen in a Power Ranger tee-shirt and Roots sweatpants. "Last night was awesome." he announced.
Clint grinned. "Fuck yeah it was awesome." he snickered, thinking back to his 'incident' in the guest room. Just the thought brought a deep shade of red to his cheeks and ears.
"It was alright." Bob shrugged, trying to keep the tomato from slipping as he diced it into tiny pieces for a salsa he and Clint planned to improvise. "I was too drunk to remember most of it.
"Well I wasn't!!!" Dave grinned. "And let's just say I'll have a totally different outlook when I watch Disney movies... especially Bhambi." he winked.
Clint halted in his ripping of Kraft cheese slices. "What the hell are you talking about?" he asked.
"Dave talks, no one listens." Scott quipped, stalking into the kitchen from the living room. He was fully dressed and freshly showered.
"No! I'm serious you guys!" Dave exclaimed, plopping down on top of the kitchen table. "I totally had a good time with a stripper! Her name was Bhambi... oh my GOD Scott you are the Messiah! That stripper idea was awesome!!! I mean... oh MAAAAAN." he moaned, biting his plush bottom lip.
Scott smiled proudly. "Happy birthday guys." he winked.
"Even though it's February twenty sixth and our birthdays are still twelve days away." Bob added.
Scott narrowed his eyes at his younger sibling. "Whatever."
"ANYWAYS!!! Listen to me you guys!" Dave pleaded. "So me and Jeanine were kinda fooling around and then she, like, went ballistic on me and shit. Then like, Bhambi came and saved my LIFE and we went in the laundry room and OHHHHH MAAAAAN." he smiled, his eyes rolling up towards the ceiling.
Scott's eyes widened, midway through the apple he had taken from the fruit basket in the middle of the table. He was kneeling on a chair looking over the back to face Clint and Bob at the counter. "You did NOT sleep with the stripper!" he exclaimed.
Dave returned to planet earth. "No! No, of course not! What kind of guy do you think I am? You?"
Scott gave him the middle finger and continued with his apple.
"So if you didn't shag her rotten, then what did you do?" Clint asked, patiently awaiting his turn to tell his story.
"Well, we made out for like a long time; naked!" he grinned. "And I fingered her. I also got some mad brain, so it was an even trade off."
"All this over fingering a stripper?" Scott asked. "You don't know where she's been Dave! You'd better not touch me with those hands, I might get ghonnerhea. Wash them carefully before you beat off too, you wouldn't want to go and find sores all over your---"
Sheila cleared her throat pointedly from the doorway.
"Morning Sheil." Scott said quickly.
"Afternoon boys." their stepmother smiled, entering with her favorite Tiffany Lamp in hand. "I'm sorry to interrupt your... interesting... conversation, but I have something to ask you."
"Shoot." Scott directed nonchalantly.
"Do you guys have any idea what happened to this lamp?" she asked, holding it up and looking at it carefully. "It doesn't work anymore, and there's something on it..."
Scott's eyes went wide. "I...uh... I have no idea." he stammered.
Sheila leaned towards it and sniffed the glass shade carefully. "Did you spill..." she touched the dried on stain with her hand, taking it to her nose and sniffing again. The next stop for that finger was her tongue as she tasted the fluid.
Clint, Bob, Dave, and Scott all threw their hands up in helplessness, cringing at the same time.
"Coke?" Sheila asked, oblivious to their disgust.
Scott's bottom lip quivered in utter distaste. "Ugh..." he muttered, trying to maintain his composure. "I have no idea what happened to the lamp." he lied. "I never even noticed it."
Sheila still wore a pensive expression. "Hmmm..." she hummed in deep thought. "Well I guess I'll have to throw it away." she pouted. "It was my favorite lamp."
"Awwww... too bad." Bob said dryly.
His stepmother nodded, exiting through the archway in which she had come.
"And wash your mouth out while you're at it!" Bob muttered, shivering with offense.
"ANYWAYS!!!!" Dave cut in again. "I got some last night!" he clapped his hands.
"Me too!!!' Clint added.
The other three looked at him. "What?!?!" they asked in unison.
Clint grinned, finished slicing the cheese into the bowl and beginning on the other tomatoes that Bob was taking ages to cut. "I won't go into detail," he grinned mischievously. "But I will just say that there is NOTHING like watching two girls with big boobs get it on on the bed while you jerk off. Nothing like it!"
Bob's jaw dropped. "Dude... that would be awesome." he snickered. "Do you think Timber and Carmen would agree to something like that?"
"Not a chance." Dave replied. "YOU GOT TO SEE TWO GIRLS GET IT ON CLINT?!?!?!?!" he exclaimed.
"SHHHHHH!!!" Scott hissed, sticking his half-eaten apple into his youngest brother's mouth.
"I did! I got to see it!" Clint giggled, doing a little two step with a broad smile on his face. "I'm happy." he smiled.
Dave ripped Scott's apple from his mouth then continued eating it.
"One of my fondest memories of these past several months in Calgary have to be that." Clint continued.
"All the parties." Bob added, shoveling his tomatoes into the bowl with Clint's cheese and hot sauce.
Scott sighed wistfully. "I'm going to miss our posse." he admitted.
"Well we still have tonight to just party!" Dave put in brightly. "And tomorrow, we'll get to see them at the airport. And then in three short months... we'll be back."
"Short months?" Bob asked, pouting. "Without Timber? I don't think short is the correct adjective."
"You guys are depressing me!" Dave whined. "Let's not think about tomorrow!!! We still have tonight to just focus on hanging out. Today is a gift, that's why they call it the present."
This caused his three brothers to smile.
"That was corny as hell Dave." Scott said, shoving his shoulder. But he knew his youngest brother was right.
* * *
"Salsa, comin' through!" Bob announced, carrying the steaming bowl of his and Clint's creation into the living room and setting it on the coffee table.
"Lemme taste!" Scott exclaimed, flying up from his seat on the couch.
"Yeah, tell me if it's good." Bob requested, passing him the bowl of nachos that Dave had followed him in with.
Scott impatiently took a chip and ran in through the salsa, placing it in his mouth and masticating slowly and pensively.
"Final verdict?" Clint asked, entering last from the kitchen.
Scott gave them the thumbs up while he continued to chew thoroughly. Chewing his food very carefully had always been a habit of his.
"OHHHHHHH!!! Who made the best salsa?!?!" Bob celebrated with a grin. "I should be a CMC."
"What's a CMC?" Clint asked as the doorbell chimed in the foyer.
"Certified Master Chef." Bob explained.
"Does this have onions in it?" Scott asked after swallowing.
"Does it?" Bob asked, turning to Clint.
"And you call yourself a CMC... you don't even know what you put in it!!" his twin chuckled, stepping out of Dave's way as his youngest brother passed him on his way to the loveseat. "Yes it has onions in it Scott." he replied.
Scott made a face. "Excuse me." he said, vanishing from the room. His footsteps were heard heavily on the steps.
"Yeah, you know he has a point." Clint said, taking the bowl of his home-made salsa off the table. "We might wanna hold onto this for a while. No one wants onion breath..." he muttered, whisking the dish out of the living room.
The doorbell chimed again.
"Dude." Bob said, looking at Dave who was sitting back on the loveseat with his legs propped up on the edge of the table. "Someone should get that."
Before either of the two made a move for the foyer, the door crept open and Jeanine peeked her head in. "Hellooooo???" she asked, entering fully when she saw Bob standing in the middle of the living room.
"What? You guys find it unorthodox to answer your door nowadays?" Ben asked, entering directly after her.
"I was gonna get around to it." Bob shrugged, plopping onto the couch.
Angela and Kelly followed the others into the house and the door was shut. The four kicked off their shoes, then went into the room where the group was meeting. Clint sauntered back into the room from the kitchen.
"Hey man, what's up?" Ben asked, giving him a slap on the palm. "Cute apron." he snickered.
Clint blushed and looked down at his attire; an apron which read: "Kiss the Cook." He blushed even harder when Kelly grinned mischievously and pecked him gingerly on the mouth. Bob raised an eyebrow at his twin and Clint rushed off to the kitchen, ripping the apron over his head.
Jeanine sat down on the loveseat next to Dave with Ben on his left side. Angela opted to sit beside Bob on the couch, smoothing her hand along her worn in jeans. She wore a grey pull-over sweater with them, her curls contrasting on the soft wool.
"Where're Carmen and Timber?" Bob asked. "One would think they would have been here first, since they live the closest and all." he commented dryly, sitting forward with his elbows on his knees.
"Girls." Dave declared, shaking his head.
His comment earned him a punch on the upper right arm by Jeanine. He rubbed his contusion and apologized before she had an opportunity to wound him again. She smiled, wrapping her arm around his waist and laying her head on his shoulder. Dave was slightly surprised by this friendly behavior, given her outburst the night before when he had kissed her on the couch that was sitting not too far away.
Girls... he thought to himself about this new topic, not daring to say it aloud in fear she may hit him again.
Clint returned to the living room, sans the apron, with a hint of pink still in his ears and cheeks. He carefully sat on the recliner, knowing Kelly's eyes were on him. She was beginning to scare him tremendously; especially after what she had said to him the night before. He still remembered it vaguely, his knuckled being the quintessential evidence. She had kissed him. She had laid him down in the snow and kissed him with all of her heart and all of her emotions rolled into that one gesture. What was more was the fact that she had practically begged him to have sex with her. In his not-even-sixteen-years-old-yet mind, sex was still an enormous deal. He intended to wait until he was sure it was someone he loved and the fact that he plainly did not feel that way about Kelly caused him to abhor from her fervent advances. Now he had no idea what to say or do around her.
The soft tread of Scott's socked feet went unheard to the others who were conversing lightly in the entertainment section of the house. He had thoroughly brushed his teeth, trying to expel the onion from his breath. When he was satisfied, and his mouth practically reeked off toothpaste. As if on cue, the doorbell sounded upon his arrival at the bottom of the steps, so he continued on in a straight line to answer it.
Carmen smiled warmly at him in her army green colored pants and brown argyle sweater. Her short hair was tousled around her wind-burned face and she hugged her body to keep warm.
"Hey. what's up?" Scott asked, stepping aside and letting her in.
It was like Bob had a radar for his girlfriend. As soon as Carmen stepped into the house, his arms conformed to her waist. She barely had time to remove her worn in Doc Martens before he was half-carrying her up the steps.
"When nature calls..." Ben commented from the living room, having witnessed the whole event.
"That's not a nature-call they're going on." Scott corrected. "That's a booty-call."
"Well... when booty calls..." Ben restated, grinning.
Scott hop-skipped into the room, strutting over to the couch and settling down on Angela's lap. She guffawed, allowing him to sit, and hugged him around the waist.
"So what's up everyone?" Scott asked.
"Whoa..." Ben said slowly. "You certainly are in a good mood."
"Check for a fever!" Dave exclaimed, halting in the examination of his fingernails.
"I have good moods all the time!" Scott defended himself.
"Yeah, when you're masturbating!" Clint pointed out.
"And getting head!" Scott snickered. "Which, by the way, would be really nice right now." he added, grinning at his girlfriend.
Angela attempted to shove him off her legs, but he held onto her tightly to keep from falling.
"You'd better treat her right Scott." Jeanine put in for her best friend. "When she bites the shit out of your schlong, you won't be smiling anymore."
Scott winced at the thought, but then redeemed himself. "I was purely stating that my girlfriend gives good head, hence the fact that I paralleled her giving of head to my good moods. That statement was made in the complimentary manner, not in a masogynistic kind of tone."
His affidavit was applauded, but Angela seemed more embarrassed than appreciative of his comment.
"Wow. It's time to change the subject." she announced, bouncing Scott gently on her lap, though he was rather heavy.
The doorbell did a good job of meeting her request.
"That must be Timber." Kelly stated.
"I'll get it!" Scott exclaimed, jumping up.
He pranced to the door, his hyper mood getting the best of him, and flung it open for the second time that evening. Timber stood on the porch in a tee-shirt and comfortably looking jeans. Her hair was still partially wet and she had tiny goose-pimples all over her bare arms. Her feet were only in a pair of white-sand colored, Birkenstock clogs, and her teeth chattered in her mouth. She had her arms wrapped around her waist, trying to shield her body from the cold.
"S-sss-sorr-rry I-I-I'm l-l-l-l-l-ate." she stammered, quivering in the freezing weather.
Scott snickered. "What's the password?"
"Ss-sss-se-c-c-cond c-c-c-cir-cum-cum-cision." she quipped, despite her freezing state.
Scott raised an eyebrow, not wanting to chance it and wrapped his arms around her frail body, guiding her in. He shut the door while rubbing her upper arms with his large hands.
"Maybe if you gained some damned weight... you wouldn't be so cold." he snickered.
"S-ss-second circumcision." she repeated, giving him a dark look before shrugging off his hands.
"Look at this!" he persisted. "I can grip your arm!" He did just that, fitting his fingers around her upper arm perfectly.
Timber moved away from his arm. "Dude, get out of my grill."
"Nice that you dress for the weather!" Clint teased, entering upon hearing her voice.
"I have NO clothes to wear." Timber announced. "All my clothes are either in the laundry and I have a few hoodies and stuff in Bob's room. This is ridiculous."
"Do your damn laundry then!" Scott suggested.
"What'd I tell you about being in my grill Scott?" Timber demanded sternly, turning back to look at him. "What'd I tell you?"
He responded with a mere chuckle, punching her arm. "I love you Timber." he simpered.
She rolled her eyes playfully, allowing him to shag her hair. "I love you too!" she called after his departing form. "And if Angela says it's alright, you and I can get in the menagerie later!"
Clint grinned to himself, imagining the endless possibilities. "Or you and Angela could..." he finished his statement with another menacing laugh.
Timber gave him a look. "I'll send you a video." she winked salaciously.
"Really?!" Clint asked, his eyes lighting up.
Timber rolled her eyes. "Yeah, right after I break my foot off in your ass!" she chuckled. "I'm going to go get something to wear in Bob's room." she announced.
Clint smirked at her, feeling the sudden urge to kiss her as she stood there at the bottom of the steps, a mere two inches or so shorter. She was wearing a white Harvard tee-shirt that hugged her chest tightly. In the dampness of the fabric, he could plainly make-out the darker skin on her nipples.
"What?" she asked, always uncomfortable when people stared at her for a long time. She discreetly crossed her arms over her chest, trying to draw his attention back to his face.
Clint's eyes widened when he realized he had been caught. "Whoa... I uh... I was reading your tee-shirt."
"It's one word, would you like me to read it to you?" she asked, turning and heading up the steps in bare feet.
Clint blushed deeply.
* * *
The upper hallway was dark in the darkening evening. She didn't bother turning on a light, knowing the way to Bob's room by heart. The door was shut tightly, but there was silence wafting from inside. Without a second thought, Timber, opened the door and stalked into the darkness.
Carmen's vulnerable yet rapturous moaning filled the air and Timber could clearly see the two bodies grinding against one another on the bed. The slight creaking of the frame was completely audible.
"Whoa! Shit, sorry!" the trespasser instantly apologized, backing up to the door and knocking into it. Flustered, Timber groped in the darkness for the knob, flinging it open.
"Wait! Timber!" Bob exclaimed.
His best friend disappeared on the other side of the door, waiting patiently in the hallway and trying to tone down her embarrassment as a sharp pain shot through her chest. Moments later, the door opened and Carmen walked out, fixing her hair with her hands and grinning sheepishly. She passed Timber a weak smiled, heading for the stairs. She flipped on the light at the end of the hall, bounding down the steps.
"Timber... just wait a sec..." Bob mumbled from the other side of the half-opened door.
He eventually appeared in the doorway, pausing to toss a wad of Kleenex into the waste-basket by the door. After a few more steps into the light of the hallway, he grinned cheekily and zipped his fly. "We weren't having sex." he immediately informed her. "We were just making out... so don't go doing twenty Hail-Mary's on my behalf." he begrudged.
Timber was deeply hurt. Given this current emotion that overtook her senses, she was in no mood for his defamation on her character. "Did I say anything?" she demanded. "It's not like I'm the only catholic around here anyway! You're catholic too Bob! And I don't give a shit what you do with your girlfriend so get off my fucking case!"
Bob's eyebrow raised at her outburst. "Dude, I'm sorry." he surrendered, holding his hands up to ward off any further attacks.
She shook her head. "I'm sorry." she corrected. His trysts with Carmen was just another reminder that he would never be hers. "I should be the one apologizing Bob. I'm the one who got all up in your face about nothing at all, and I'm the one who barged in right in the middle of your... session... with Carmen. So all the apologies are on me." she rattled off. "I just came up to get a sweatshirt."
Like Clint's eyes, Bob's brown preceptors managed to find themselves glancing at her chest upon her mentioning that she was in need of a sweatshirt.
"I KNOW the shirt is see-through!" she exclaimed, brushing past him. "And I KNOW I belong to the IBTC! Everyone just give me a break here! Throw me a frickin' bone! I'm not even fourteen yet!" she threw her hands up in the air after flicking on the light.
Bob followed her into the room, watching as she opened her drawer and started flipping through. He shut the door behind him and went to flop on the bed behind her.
"What's the IBTC?" he asked out of sheer curiosity.
Timber snickered. "The Itty-Bitty-Titty-Comittee." she replied, breaking into more laughter.
Bob dropped his head back and laughed, showing his entire top row of teeth from her standpoint. "Who thinks of these things?" he guffawed, propping himself up on his elbows. He wasn't able to wipe the smile off his face.
He studied her form, hunched and gaunt in front of his dresser. He could see the top of her head in the mirror. Her hair was pulled back into a tight bun, wisps escaping left and right and flying into her face. She tucked most of them behind her ears, but the others in the back tickled the nape of her neck.
"I don't know why I snapped at you Bob. I'm such a bitch." she stated casually, pulling her shirt over her head.
She wasn't wearing a bra. Her bare back faced him and he didn't notice that he was staring at it. She had a mole on the right side. Otherwise, her skin was flawless and smoothly complected in a rich maple color, lighter than her summer shade. The waistband of her Gap BVD's peeked out of her jeans. There was a tiny silver chain that crossed over her neck, belonging to the little diamond cross she had received for Christmas. She resumed her searching through her drawer after tossing her Harvard tee-shirt into it and muttering about how she had so many clothes at his house.
Bob barely noticed her partial nudity; she kept her back turned. He was relatively comfortable with her by then and considering she had been much in the same position on the day he met her, his apologies for witnessing such an event dwindled down to none and he merely accepted it as he accepted Scott walking down the hallway naked after his morning shower. He was used to it. He supposed that was what being best friends meant.
"Where's my frigging green shirt?" she demanded to herself then chuckled. "Wow. I am a bitch."
"No you're not." Bob coaxed. "You've just been a little... moody." he grinned.
"I have NOT been moody ass hole!" she snapped then snickered.
"Whoa! Mood swings!" Bob exclaimed, dropping back onto his back and staring at the ceiling.
Timber found her green Abercrombie Lacrosse shirt and yanked it over her head, further messing her hair. "I know I get mood swings." she shyly commented. "I don't know why, but I know I do."
She knew exactly why.
"It's just stress and school." he said. "I mean, you're not bitchy or anything, but you seem to be really stressed out since like... November. You were much more carefree in the summer, but that's because you didn't have all that shit to do."
"I guess you're right." she shrugged, shutting the drawer and standing up.
"Since November... I've been waiting for your sun rays to break through..." Bob started to sing, mocking her.
"Shut up!" she exclaimed, giggling wildly as she dove onto him.
He caught her wrists before she could smack onto his venter. Laughing as well, this was not an easy task.
"Get outta my grill Bob!!' he mocked her in a shrill tone.
Timber attempted to hit him, but he turned her over by her forearms so he was on top.
"Ouch! You're hurting me!!!" she whined, her face contorting with pain.
"Sorry!" Bob quickly apologized releasing her.
"Gullible!" she teased, grabbing his hair.
In their struggle, his face collided with hers and their noses mashed together, possibly the closest their lips had been in a while. This realization made Timber think back to the time they had sat in that very same bed and he had offered to give her her first kiss. Just the thought and his immediate presence caused her to quiver in places she didn't even know she could. She paused, as if he were aware of her thoughts and excitement, looking into his eyes with utter embarrassment and fear that her secret was out. He just smiled down at her.
"Ouchies." he giggled, leaning his forehead on hers and looking into her eyes.
Brown on brown, their eyes were connected, a mere inches apart. His face was rested with hers and she felt the smoothness of his forehead and was comforted by the curtain his tresses around their faces.
"That hurt." he commented quietly.
She suddenly felt centrifugal motion jerking their lips in the same direction and knew she was more than willing to comply to anything his lips had to supply her. He sighed softly, rubbing his nose with hers for a moment instead of kissing her. Then he slid over on her, resting his head in the crook of her neck. Timber became aware of everything about him. His weight on her body, the rich scent of his cologne and something that was just him, the feathery feel of his hair over her face, his warm legs moving over hers, and even to her embarrassment, the area between her legs that brushed up against her thigh. Her face felt hot as she realized something that she never knew the direct feel of before.
What the hell is that? she frantically thought to herself.
He had an erection.
As it developed against her thigh, he yanked away and sat up with his back to her. Her eyes were wide. It had not been there before. When she was literally sitting on him, he did not have that object jetting out of his pelvic region. She lay on his bed, stunned. What was she supposed to say?
"Um..." he was clearly embarrassed. After a moment, he turned back to look at her over his shoulder. "I don't know where that came from." he clarified.
"Uh... It's cool." she murmured, not quite sure what else she could offer.
"Sorry..." he apologized, blushing slightly.
"No problem... I uh... I'm going to go downstairs now..." she announced, sitting up and getting off the bed.
"I'll come in a second." he said then winced at his word choice. "I mean... I..."
"Yeah... I know what you mean..." she smiled softly, trying to put him out of his misery of trying to form words with such low blood flow to his correct head.
No more words were exchanged, and needless to say, Timber scurried out of the room as fast as she could. Her cheeks burned with mixed emotions as she jogged down the hall to the steps. That was by far a close encounter.
* * *
Arriving in the living room, Timber found the others having the battle of the sexes. Jeanine still had her arm around Dave's back, and his arm was linked around her waist as the both of them laughed candidly. Kelly sat at the end of the couch while Scott and Angela were making out rather heavily on the other side. Scott's hand was under his girlfriend's shirt, discreetly caressing her breasts inside her bra while her hand was trying to conceal their activity from the others. He was leaned over her anyhow, shielding her body from the world. Clint was settled in the recliner and Ben was heading in the direction. Carmen was sitting on the floor by the archway to the kitchen. Timber was sure to note the jovial caption on another one of Ben's infamous tee-shirts. This one was white and in big black writing read: "I'm With Stupid," with an arrow pointing down. She grinned.
Ben plopped down in Clint's lap making the others laugh.
"Dude, you're right on it!" Clint moaned, shifting over a bit to give his genitalia breathing room.
Timber's mind instantly flashed back to Bob's erection. He was still upstairs, probably jerking off. What did he think about when he jerked off? She knew he did it a lot. He probably thought about Carmen. Actually, she knew Bob well enough to know that he thought about porn when he masturbated. She shuddered at the thought and everyone except for Scott and Angela, who were busy, looked up and silenced at the same moment.
"Where's Bob?" Carmen asked.
"He's gonna cum." Timber replied absently, then clapped a hand to her mouth. "I mean... he's..."
"Right here!" Bob announced, appearing behind her. He pinched her hips and she exclaimed in surprise causing him to laugh as he entered the living room, stepping over Scott and Angela's legs.
Angela pulled back from her boyfriend, florid, but Scott's lips continued to kiss her cheek and neck delicately, fondling her still under her shirt. She attempted to guide his hands away from her chest but barely succeeded as his lips found hers again.
"Dude, Scott, get a grip on reality and hold on tight. It's not time for public displays of affection." Dave announced, rather perturbed that his brother was with Angela of all people. Not only did he not like to witness people making out in public, but he hated the fact that it was Angela and Scott especially.
Scott used his free hand to flick his brother off, eventually drawing back from Angela. Her face was completely red with blush and she surreptitiously eyed the others. Her boyfriend gave her breast a gentle squeeze before removing it from under her sweater. This caused Angela to soar with excitement, but darken a shade of crimson at the same time.
"ANY-way." Bob rolled his eyes.
"After Scott officially fondles Angela's tits for all to see..." Clint feigned a sports-announcer's voice.
"Dude shut the fuck up!" Scott barked, not wishing his girlfriend any more humiliation than she already suffered.
"Okay, okay, let's not start a fight." Jeanine intervened. "I know how you guys get..."
"Yeah, get out of his grill!" Clint mocked, glancing at Timber.
Timber had taken a seat on the floor in Carmen's place, as her friend had joined Bob on the couch. "Dude, I don't even say that often!"
"I'm just messin’ with you!" Clint smirked. "I think it's funny how you say that."
"I think it's funny how Scott scratches his balls all the time." Timber stated openly.
"Dirty balls!" Clint accused, pointing a finger at his eldest brother.
"HEY!!" Scott exclaimed, very offended. "I have very clean balls, thankyouverymuch! I mean, why else would Angie suck on them?"
"Oh I'm biting next time." Angela informed him, punching him on the arm.
"Owie!" Scott whined.
"Let's play truth or dare." Jeanine suggested loudly, trying to be heard over the pandemonium of Scott and Angela's banter. When she had everyone's full attention, she grinned deviously. "For old time's sake." When no one objected, she grinned even more. "I dare Scott to whip it out right now."
"Okay." Scott complied, standing up.
"Ugh, SICK!!!" Bob whined, shielding his eyes.
"Don't be jealous because I'm bigger than you Bob." Scott snickered, unfastening his pants.
"Whoo-hooo! Take it OFF!!" Kelly exclaimed, clapping her hands.
Scott smirked at his spectateurs before tugging his pants down to fully expose his listless penis. He looked to the left, then the right, then straight ahead before tugging his jeans back up and refastening them. The reactions were insane from the girls in the room. Bob, however, shielded his eyes from the sight.
"My turn!" Scott exclaimed.
"Oh brother." Timber snickered.
Scott eyed her, then glanced to Clint. "Okay Timber, nice of you to volunteer! And no I will NOT get out of your grill." he added with a smirk. "I dare you to... make out with... um... hmmmm." he scanned the room, teasing Clint for a few moments. "Angela." he preened.
"Ugh!!! Why the fuck do I always have to kiss chicks?" Timber exclaimed. "What am I? The designated dike of the group?" she demanded.
"DO IT!!!" Dave exclaimed, earning another hit from Jeanine.
"Scott!" Angela chided. "What is your fixation with two girls making out?"
"He needs masturbatory material." Timber supplied.
"I don't think about two girls when I masturbate." Scott said. "Not all the time at least..." he corrected.
"How many times do you masturbate in a day? Just out of curiosity." Kelly asked, clasping her hands on her lap.
Scott looked up at the ceiling, cogitating his reply.
"Lemme rephrase." Kelly quickly put in. "What's the most you've done it in a day?"
"Umm..." Scott hummed. "Oh!" he suddenly remembered. "I actually tried to beat my record of eleven, no pun intended, and I masturbated fourteen times one day. Let's just say I nearly got Carpell Tunnel Syndrome." he snickered.
Timber's jaw dropped. "Good Lord... that's got to be a sin."
"What about you Dave?" Jeanine asked, pinching his side and making him jump slightly.
Dave grinned. "I can hardly compare to that."
"WE know..." Scott said arrogantly, sitting back and putting his arm around Angela's shoulders.
"Maybe about... six or seven?" Dave replied.
"Let's just get this out in the open. Masturbatory records." Timber announced.
"I've gotten nine." Ben raised his hand.
"I think my record was like... maybe seven. In Timber's shower." Bob snickered. "Dude, she has the best soap ever. It's such good lube."
"You used my soap?!?!" Timber exclaimed with utter disgust.
"It's called Softsoap Timber!" Bob defended myself. "They have to give it that name for a reason!"
Timber slapped her palm to her forehead. "Stupid me, all that time I thought it was called that because it's indications are to make your skin feel soft. My bad."
Bob shrugged while the others laughed. "Sometimes I use that baby-oil you keep in there too. Now THAT is the shit."
"That's so dirty!" Timber shook her head. "I can never take a shower in there again without the mental image... ughhh... I don't even want to think about that! Seven times in my shower!"
"The first three were in your shower, then I did it some more later." Bob said calmly, stroking a bit of Carmen's hair absently with his arm around her shoulder.
"You guys do it a lot." Clint commented. "I mean, I don't like to do it more than maybe two or three times a day. After a while you don't even get as good of orgasms. You eventually run out of jizz..." he trailed off as an afterthought.
Scott snickered. "What? Do you EAT the jizz or something? I don't care if I run out! Less clean up! That's just a few less tissues gone to waste."
Timber shuddered. "That's so nasty Scott."
"... and just because you can't enjoy good sex with yourself.... you probably have erectile disfunction!" the eldest Moffatt continued to jest.
"I DO NOT!" Clint shot back, offended.
"Yeah Scott!" Timber piped in Clint's defense. "Just because he doesn't stroke it down to a nub doesn't mean he has issues. It just means he gets some! So get off Clint's nuts, at least he's not a sicko like you!"
"Yeah!" Clint chimed.
Scott merely laughed. "Okay Timber, how much do you do it?" he asked.
"Do what?" Timber sneered.
"Beat the meat." Scott clarified.
"I'm a vegetarian." Timber smiled sassily.
"Oh come on, tell us!" Dave coaxed. "Guys are always so open about jacking off, but girls have this little secret society where it's this shameful thing. I masturbated just this morning and I'm sharing it with your guys because I'm open about it!" he clarified.
Jeanine smiled, chewing on her lip.
"So tell us!" Scott urged. "I wanna know!"
"What happened to truth or dare?" Timber asked, trying to change the subject.
"Okay, I dare you girls to tell us how much you masturbate!" Scott quipped.
"Scott's you're so nasty!" Kelly accused.
"Thank you." Scott smiled. "Now tell us!"
"No!" Carmen said flat out.
"That implied you do it!" Ben laughed, stabbing a finger at her.
"It does not! Shut up!" Carmen shouted in a very annoyed tone.
"Okay, okay wait!" Timber cut in so all attention was on her. She waited until she saw everyone's eyes and it was silent. Rising to her feet, she made a proposal. "We will share with you, TRUTHFULLY, our masturbatory... habits... if Scott makes out with one of his brothers." she smirked, not imagining anyone would actually take her up on her offer.
"You're on." Scott smirked.
"With tongue!" Timber added. "For thirty seconds!"
"Ooooh, upping the ante!" Clint announced.
"Which of you want to kiss him??" Timber asked, growing excited.
"Not me!" the triplets said in unison.
"Damn Scott, do you want to know that bad?" Angela asked.
Scott shrugged. "Yeah, actually. This is like infiltrating the world of women. Maybe we'll understand them better after this!" he said avidly. "Now who's gonna pucker up?" he asked. "Bob?"
"Why me?!" Bob demanded, disgusted.
"Because you're the closest and you have the longest hair." Scott shrugged. "And besides, Dave might like it too much." he chortled.
"Yeah, up yours Scott." Dave shot back, clasping his hands in his lap.
"Lick my ass hole, cunt." Scott shot back, over his shoulder.
"Pucker up Bob!" Timber said, trying to intercept any argument that might arise.
Scott slid over on the couch so her was next to his brother.
"I don't want to!" Bob whined.
"Just come here!" Scott exclaimed, clearly becoming irritated.
"I have a girlfriend." Bob excused. "This is cheating." he smirked.
"No, go ahead Bob, I'm okay with it." Carmen smiled sweetly, leaning over to get a better view.
"Let's just get it over with." Scott suggested, scooting a little closer to Bob who was now sitting forward on the far end of the couch from the door.
Bob wrinkled his nose, knowing he was going to end up kissing his brother. The others seemed to migrate around, getting better seats to see what they assumed would be a once in a life-time view.
"Thirty seconds, I'll keep time." Jeanine grinned brightly.
"Twenty seconds, I'll count in my head." Scott smiled back.
Bob muttered a few words under his breath with a distasteful expression on his face.
"Not a word about this in any interview." Scott warned his other two brothers before turning back to Bob. He leaned closer to his brother before pausing again. "Or anyone else for that matter." he added sternly. "This stays in the room."
"Yeah, yeah. Get on with it." Clint urged.
Bob sighed begrudgingly. Scott slid his hand along his brother's jaw, moving his face closer. Bob yanked back.
"Don't do that!" he exclaimed in a paranoid fashion, swatting Scott's hand from his face.
"Do what?" Scott asked, his annoyance peeking, and his voice raising.
"Touch my face like that!" Bob replied. "I'm not your girlfriend, thank GOD for that, so don't kiss me like some... girl!" he shuddered. "This is NOT romantic at all!"
"That's how I kiss Bob!" Scott informed him, pushing some of his auburn hair from his eyes.
Bob shuddered again.
"Come on you guys!" Kelly ordered. "I wanna see some tongue here!"
"You sicko!" Bob exclaimed, directing his attention to her.
Scott grasped the sides of Bob's face with both hands and yanked him to his lips, their mouths meeting in harmony at first before the older boy suckled onto his younger brother's bottom lip. Scott kissed him gently and tenderly, the only way he knew how, his left hand eventually dropping off of Bob's hot cheeks and onto the couch by his own thigh for extra support. His right hand grazed along Bob's chin as he tilted his head, parting his lips and open-mouth kissing his partner who reluctantly responded. Scott's tongue edged into his brother's mouth a little at a time, eventually reaching one of it's own kin, which belonged to the other boy, and swirling dutifully with it. His right hand remained on Bob's cheek, grazing the skin gently with nimble fingers. Scott coaxed Bob's tongue from it's domain, fully tasting his brothers mouth and finding that he actually didn't really mind kissing him as his tongue explored all over the inside. Their lips continued to move in a relatively slow-paced synchronization, their heads gently gyrating. Scott moved his fingers back to thread in Bob's silky brown tresses, stroking them the length of each strand until his palm reached the warmth of Bob's neck, populated with tiny, smooth hairs that trailed in a golden, nearly invisible streak down his back.
Bob was first to retract his tongue from Scott's mouth, pulling backwards as their lips came to a close around each other, the molding of their mouths together closing in until just those pink lips were touching. Finally the kiss was broken and Scott dropped his other hand back to the couch.
"Eeeew Scott!" Bob exclaimed, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "You slobbered all over me!"
"I have big lips! I'm a sloppy kisser!" Scott defended, licking his lips as he did after every kiss he experienced. His liaison with Bob was no exception to the habit.
"I like his big lips." Angela put in, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend's shoulders.
"Yeah! I got big lips too Bob, what are you trying to say?" Timber demanded.
"Me too!" Jeanine put in.
"I have big lips." Dave pointed out.
"That doesn't mean you have to slobber all over someone's face!" Bob exclaimed, still wiping his mouth. "And you like, attacked me with your tongue! And... oh man... I am NEVER kissing a guy again. That was sooooo... weird!" he bemoaned, rolling his eyes back in his head for emphasis.
"Well I probably got some of Carmen's pubes in my mouth anyway!" Scott shot back, stroking Angela's forearms which were looped around his neck. He then directed his look to Bob's girlfriend. "You've got some vocals girl, don't think we can't hear it when Bob's carpet munching in there."
Carmen raised an eyebrow in a haughty mien. "A word to the wise Scott," she said matter-of-factly. "You can't get pubes in your mouth with a shaven twat." she smiled keenly.
Scott displayed his palms right-side-up in a form of surrender. "You definitely put me in my place." he admitted.
"All that for the sake of masturbation." Bob shook his head, wiping his mouth again.
"Which means that you guys must now dish." Scott smiled.
"Let's all sit on the floor." Timber suggested randomly, plopping down around the coffee table where she had sat to watch the display of her best friend and his older brother.
"That's not gonna get you off the hook." Scott informed her.
"I know, I know." Timber rolled her eyes.
"Here, get the coffee table out of the way." Ben said, taking up one end while Dave grabbed the other. They successfully moved it across the floor and out of the way so there was an open space in front of the television and mostly enclosed by the three pieces of sitting furniture.
Everyone formed somewhat of a circle, Angela settling down in front of the couch with Scott in front of her and leaning back on her chest. Clint sat to their right, in the area in front of the recliner and with his back in the direction of the archway to he foyer. He grabbed a few throw pillows and rested them in his lap to fiddle with. Ben slumped down beside him. Kelly was on Ben's other side, her back directly to the television set, and facing Scott and Angela. Timber sat beside Kelly, Indian style, her back to the kitchen archway right beside the large entertainment set-up. To her right was Dave who held a few more pillows from the loveseat. Jeanine naturally settled next to Dave with Bob on her right side and Carmen right beside him, thus completing their circle.
"Okay." Scott began again. "Masturbatory secrets. The girls share. Tell us about how often you do it, what you use... all that good stuff." He smiled rubbing his hands together.
"You are so sick Scott." Angela scolded, pulling his hair.
"Owie!" he whined, sitting up. "You're violent!"
"I thought you liked it rough." Angela jested, scooting over for him to have space beside her.
"Oh I do..." he snickered. "You first."
"I don't think so." Angela smiled sweetly.
"Oh fuck it." Jeanine piped up. "You girls are so prude when it comes to talking about this stuff. I masturbate all the time in the privacy of my own room and it's fun."
Each of the five guys in the room had wide eyes by this point.
"What do you use?" Clint asked eagerly.
"Ughhh... you guys are so sexually driven." Kelly commented.
"Yup!" Scott agreed, leaning forward. "What do you use?" he reiterated.
"A gun." Jeanine replied sarcastically. "My hand... obviously."
"She does it a lot." Timber put in. "Trust me. She even does it at sleep overs and stuff."
"So what?" Jen defended herself. "I enjoy my sexuality and am very comfortable with it!"
"You go girl!" Ben encouraged, raising his hand to give her a high five. He stopped short. "Whoa, um... not with those hands!" he snickered.
The room quaked with chuckles for a moment before Scott asked Carmen the same question he had initially posed. At first she expressed reluctance, but eventually gave in.
"Okay," Carmen began. "My Bob satisfies my needs more than enough..." she stated clearly so everyone knew how talented her boyfriend was. "But sometimes... late at night... I get the urge."
"Uh-oh, the urge..." Clint echoed dramatically.
"I usually use my hand... but sometimes..."
"A gun?" Clint asked.
"What? Shut the fuck up idiot!" Scott scolded then turned his attention back to Carmen.
"A dildo?" Bob guessed.
Carmen nodded silently.
"CARMEN USES A DILDO!!!!!" Timber began to laugh. "Oh my GOD!! That's so kinky! I'll pray for you."
"Oh shut up! Don't act like you've never stuck anything in your pussy!" Carmen scolded haughtily.
"I haven't!" Timber replied blatantly.
"I use the end of my blush brush." Kelly stated. "It works!" she said in her defense, becoming florid.
"Now that's weird." Tim stated quietly, but smiled nonetheless. The inertia of the conversation was exciting.
"Yeah, really." Scott agreed. "How'd you ever stumble upon that?"
"People do fucked up shit in the moment!" Kelly exclaimed, tucking her knees up into her chest. Her jeans rode up on her ankles. "Excuse me Mr. Fourteen-times!" she added. "I only do it every once in a while."
"Hey, you gotta do what it takes to get the job done." Scott shrugged.
"What about you Angela?" Dave asked, grinning.
Scott shot his youngest an odious look.
Angela blushed. "Well... I certainly do not use a dildo... though that's a very interesting approach to getting off...." she commented. "I like to keep it simple."
"Hand?" Clint ventured to understand.
"Hand. And we'll leave it at that." Angela smiled.
"Oh!!!!!" Scott exclaimed clapping his hands. "What new possibilities I'm seeing flash before my eyes!"
"Not now Scott." Angela warned, pinching him.
"Owie!" he whimpered, clutching his upper arm. "I'm in a battering relationship! My girlfriend beats me!" He paused. "Nevermind. Sometimes that's a very good thing."
"Ughhh..." Bob wrinkled his nose. "After you slobbered all over my face..." he said sourly.
"Get over it!" Scott urged. "I forgot that even happened. "You must have really liked it."
"FUCK no!" Bob said crisply.
"Shut up you guys! I want to know how Timber masturbates!" Clint interrupted, turning his attention back to Timber, who was hoping she had been forgotten.
"You guys are so nasty!" she exclaimed, burying her head in her hands. "I refuse to talk about this anymore!"
"Oh come on!" Dave pleaded.
"Maybe she already does. That's what we're trying to find out." Scott quipped.
"Shut up Scott! You're such a sicko! You're going to end up going to jail because you exposed yourself to little kids or something."
"And then you slobbered on their faces!" Bob added, wiping his mouth again for good measure.
"You liked kissing me. Face it." Scott said arrogantly.
"Shhh! I want to hear how you masturbate Timber! Share it with all of us!" Dave ordered.
"I bet she has a new method that no one's heard of so she's trying to keep it under cover." Carmen stated with a grin.
"Under cover..." Scott snickered. "Under the covers!"
Everyone cracked up at this jocular pun, even Timber who had raised her knees to her chest and was hugging them, burying her face in the high peaks.
"Wait, you guys," Ben piped in. "I bet she's only dour because she can't get an orgasm!" he teased.
"Uh-oh!" Scott guffawed. "Timber can't orgasm! Timber can't orgasm!" he taunted.
"Shut up!" Timber exclaimed. "Get out of my grill!" she added with a grin at the overused statement.
"You can't orgasm!" Bob pointed and laughed.
"It's okay Timber. We can get you help." Dave snickered.
"I'm sure Clint would have no problem with that..." Scott added with a sly smirk.
Clint turned beet red.
"Orgasmic-deprivation can be easily cured." Jeanine assured her friend in a mocking motion but with a soft, official tone.
"Ya no-orgasm FREAK!" Scott chuckled.
"Hey!" Timber finally snapped. "I get orgasms ALL the time! Just because no one else is in the room to witness them does not mean they don't happen." she trailed off, thus silencing the mob of her teasing friends.
"Whoa." Scott said. "That shut me up."
* * *