Their plane had been delayed, touching down in the Toronto airport just in time for the family to rush to the radio station for an interview. They darted back and forth in the familiar town, finally settling down for dinner at a small bistro that held many childhood memories. By nine o’clock at night, their busy day was over and it was finally time for them to relax.
“Too bad it did.” Scott agreed, still elated from his successful performance that afternoon.
Dave was asleep with his head on Frank’s shoulder.
Clint yawned. “We don’t have anything to do now do we?” he asked. “What time’s our flight back to Calgary tomorrow?”
“The flight’s at around noon, and no, there’s nothing left for you boys to do today but sleep.” His father responded, starting the shake Dave awake as they pulled up in front of the hotel.
“Thank God.” Clint muttered, yawning again.
This caused Bob to yawn, which inadvertently elicited a yawn in Sheila.
The family piled out of the white van, each taking their own bags and entering the illuminated lobby of the building. Clint yawned another time, settling in the sitting area while Frank went to the check-in counter.
“I need sleep.” Dave announced, slipping down next to Bob and leaning against him, his eyes drooping shut.
“I need a shower.” Scott accorded.
“Me too man. I’m so totally rank.” Bob smirked. “I didn’t even shower this morning.”
Dave looked up, scooting away from Bob. “Dude, that’s pretty gross. But think on the bright side, at least you don’t reek.” He smiled.
Bob shrugged. “I mask my filth well, what can I say?” he proudly stated.
Scott just rolled his eyes, looking up as Frank approached with Sheila behind him.
“I’m afraid I have bad news boys.” He announced. “They’re booked solid.”
“I thought we had reservations.” Clint pointed out, upset by the injustice.
“We had reservations for the afternoon, but they had to give the rooms up when we didn’t show up after six hours.” Sheila explained.
“Isn’t there a rule against that?” Clint demanded. “That’s ridiculous! We paid for a room and we deserve the room we paid for! Booked solid my ass! I want a damn room!” he shouted, standing up dramatically.
Bob snickered. “His ass is booked solid!” he clapped his hands in hysterics, causing the other two of the clan to join in.
“Clint, sit down.” Frank said quietly, drying to quell his son’s public display of rockstaritis. “We were able to get a room, luckily...” He paused for effect. “But we were only able to get one double room on the seventh floor, and a single room on the second. Thus, you boys will have to share.”
“I don’t even care, just as long as there’s a bed.” Dave stated, shrugging insouciantly and getting to his feet with his brothers as they gathered their things.
* * *
Simultaneously, the five girls of the group were assembled at Timber’s house for a sleep over. They managed to settle in the basement with the stereo pumping B*Witched while they munched on mixed fruit and painted each other’s nails and chatted.
Kelly dipped the small brush back into the bottle of Carbonet-red nail polish, aiming to finish Angela’s big toe. She sat Indian style on the floor in her white chemise, her freshly cut hair pinned up in two pigtails. “So Angela.” She began with a smirk spreading on her pink lips, having waited all night before bringing up the subject that was on the tip of everyone’s tongues.
She glanced over at Jeanine who was sitting in boxers and a TLC tee-shirt getting her nails painted the same wine-red by Timber. Carmen was sitting beside Jeanine in her pajamas of a plain white tee-shirt and a pair of volleyball shorts doing her own nails in a pale purple shade. The three girls looked back at her in apprehension.
“Hmmm?” Angela looked up innocently, her brown eyes carrying a beautiful, smoldering glow.
Kelly grinned, the other three girls following suit.
“So what did you and Scott do last night after you left the club early?” Kelly asked, already knowing full and well what had happened, as gossip of the two had already made the rounds.
Angela noticeably blushed. “Ummm, we just went back to his house.” She replied, keeping her eyes on her toes as Kelly continued to polish the nails.
“And…” Kelly pressed.
Angela looked up, seeing a pair of hazel eyes, a pair of green eyes, and two pairs of brown eyes staring back at her.
“You bitch! When were you going to tell us?” Jeanine demanded.
The nail polish was immediately forgotten as the girls crowded into a circle.
“What happened exactly?” Timber asked, tucking her bare legs up under her chin.
“What was it like?” Jeanine asked.
“When were you going to tell us?” Kelly demanded.
“Did you fuck all night?” Carmen smirked.
Angela blushed even harder. “Stop with the questions!” she exclaimed, not able to control the smile that formed as she reminisced about the night before.
“Did it hurt?” Timber asked in a whisper. She always reverted to the little girl inside her when the subject of sex was brought up.
Angela relaxed a bit, her laughter subsiding when she realized she was totally comfortable with confiding in her girlfriends.
“Yeah… it did kind of hurt.” She admitted. “A lot.”
“Oh, that’ll go away by like, the third time.” Carmen assured her, adding a light wave of her hand. “Then it feels as good as anything.” She grinned.
Angela smiled.
“I bet he initiated it, as usual.” Jeanine said dryly, rolling her eyes as she thought about her friend Scott’s libidinous tendencies.
“No, actually, I initiated it.” Angela said, tucking her legs into her body and wrapping her arms around them.
“So how much did it hurt?” Timber asked. “Like, a shot from the doctor, or ‘I was riding my brother’s bike and accidentally crotched the bar on it.’” She asked eagerly.
“What?” the other four asked in surprise.
“Oh shut up! Don’t act like it’s never happened to you.” Timber defended herself. “It feels like your vagi-fucking-na is exploding like a super-nova! Man…” she shuddered at the memory.
“Um… I’m not sure I can say it felt like that, but it hurt.” Angela said slowly. “Scott was amazing though.” She added softly, smiling as she mused.
“Awwww!” Jeanine giggled, clasping her hands.
“Jeanine, never do that again in my presence. What next? The corny toothpaste commercial comes on? Please ladies. Let’s get technical.” Timber debunked. “What position did you do it in?” she asked.
“Missionary, duh!” Kelly exclaimed, then turned to Angela. “Right?”
“Yeah. Missionary… kinda… yeah.” She said.
“Did he go down on you?” Carmen asked.
“No… why?” Angela asked slowly.
“Has Scott gone down on you yet?” Carmen pressed, running her hands back through her short hair that was lightening in color as the days passed.
Angela shook her head. “That seems kinda… gross---“
“WHAT?!?!” Carmen shouted. “Never again! Never!!!!” she exclaimed. “You’ll see Angela. You will see. Getting a guy to go down on you is the best shit. Especially with Scott! I mean come on!! Scott Moffatt? Just looking at him you can SO tell he can really do a good job eating a girl out. You’re just the lucky girl who snagged him. I suggest you start reaping the benefits.”
“How can you tell?” Angela asked, reading Kelly’s mind. She twisted one of her curls between her fingers.
“You just can.” Carmen assured her. “I mean, his lips, everything.” She replied.
“Not to mention that fact that he lives to go down on girls.” Jeanine added.
“Yeah, Clint’s always talking about how he loves eating girls out. I’m shocked you haven’t cashed in on that deal.” Timber grinned.
“Well, Scott and I, we haven’t really done much…” she started to explain.
“Oh please. Now is the time Angie.” Kelly said forceably. “You get your pussy eaten. You go and you get it. I’m telling you. With a guy like Scott, you can’t afford not to.”
“Totally. Bob does a great job. I’m talking fucking amazing. I can only imagine what Scott can do.” Carmen snickered, sitting Indian style once satisfied her toe nails were dry.
“Plus getting eaten out in general is the shit.” Jeanine added.
“How is it so good?” Timber asked as an afterthought. “I mean, everyone says it is, but then, if you think about it, all it is is a guy slobbering all over your nether regions. That somehow doesn’t seem so appealing to me.”
Jeanine, Carmen, and Kelly gave Timber a shocked look.
“See, she needs to get her pussy eaten too.” Carmen said regretfully, shaking her head. “Enough with that virgin shit Timber. It’s one thing saving yourself, but it’s another to not get any, period. You need to get off or you’ll live a sad life.
“I second that.” Jeanine chuckled, leaning forward and giving her friend a high-five.
“One would think you would have already gotten it done, hanging around the Moffatts and all.” Jeanine smirked. “I mean, Clint’s basically riding you everyday.”
Kelly stiffened, rolling her eyes and exchanging a look with Carmen.
“What?” Timber asked in confusion.
“Oh fuck you. You know he wants you like a pot-head wants a ten-dollar bill!” Jeanine said crisply. “Don’t tell me you’re that oblivious!”
“No, no, no. Clint and I are really good friends.” Timber clarified. “That’s it.”
“He wants you.” Jeanine corrected.
“Well, it’s not like you don’t ask for it Timber.” Kelly stated wryly. “You’re always prancing around the Moffatt house in those tiny little outfits you claim to be pijamas, and you’re always basically handing your vagina to him on a platter. It’s a shock he hasn’t snatched your little ass up and made a woman out of you, Lord knows he’s wanted to.”
Timber covered her ears with her hands, squeezing her eyes shut. “Kelly… I don’t want to hear this!” she exclaimed. “This is Clint!”
“What’s wrong with Clint?” Angela asked.
“Yeah! What’s wrong with Clint?” Kelly demanded.
Timber dropped her hands back to her lap. “Nothing.” She replied. “Clint’s cool. I mean, he’s gorgeous, a great dresser, my best shopping partner… but he’s such a good friend… that’s like me having sexual thoughts about one of your guys.”
Carmen snickered. “I have sexual thoughts about you guys all the time.”
Kelly threw her arm around her friend’s shoulder. “I have sexual thoughts about you too.” She smiled blissfully.
“Brush ‘em, brush ‘em, brush ‘em, it’s a brand new flavor…” Timber started to sing.
Jeanine broke into laughter. “Okay, back to sex. So Angela… was it everything you thought it’d be and more?” she asked vehemently.
“Oh man… who’s up for a pillow kissing session?” Timber mocked.
Angela giggled at Timber’s parody of their current situation.
“WAS IT?!?!” Jeanine broke in.
Angela shrugged. “It was… really great.”
“Duh, it was sex.” Carmen said. “I mean, how could it not be great?”
“I hear that!” Kelly rhapsodized with a smirk, giving Carmen a high five before grabbing another strawberry.
“Kelly, what’s that supposed to mean?” Angela asked carefully.
Kelly smiled. “Oh, you thought because I was raped I’d be afraid of sex for life?” she asked.
The others inwardly winced at her mention of the rape.
“Sorry, wrong number! I was seeing my shrink when I had an epiphany.” Kelly explained. “I decided that I needed to face my fear. So I did. Then Oooops! I did it again!” she giggled. “And again… and again.”
“Who’ve you been sleeping with?” Jeanine demanded.
Kelly grinned, tucking loose pieces of her hair back behind her ears. “Not my teacher.” She smirked coldly.
“I never slept with him… for the record.” Jeanine asked wryly, wanting to forget the sensative subject.
Thinking of Mr. Richards only brought upon the knowledge that she was responsible for him losing his job at the high school. Once rumors got out about their relationship, after she had basically announced it in class, several other girls came forward about his sexual come-ons and their obligatory submission. She had been asked to testify, but politely refused, wanting to keep news of the scandal out of her mother’s earshot. Infact, Jeanine wanted nothing to do with the Mr. Richards scandal. Denise had already been sent to boarding school after her parents found out and that was all Jeanine had wanted. Revenge. She had gotten her revenge, now it was time for the other girls in Mr. Richards’s elite group to gain revenge on him. She had closed that chapter of her life.
Kelly smirked. “Well, I took a different approach to the sex thing.” She continued esoterically.
“With who?!” Timber exclaimed. “You slut!”
Kelly giggled. “Dude, it was just with a friend. Someone who needed to get their rocks off and I did too, so we fucked. No strings attached.” She explained.
“Clint?” Jeanine asked.
“No, I wish. Clint’s a prude. It pisses me off.”
“Dave?” her cousin continued, this time darkly in case the results were positive.
“No. Not Dave.”
All four girls gasped as the truth became evident.
“You didn’t.” Jeanine said. “No, you just didn’t.” she continued, disbelievingly.
“Shut up! He’s cute and he’s a god in bed. I’m not even kidding. He may be short, but man… he’s hung like a horse.”
“He is?” Angela asked in surprise.
“Well, he may not be a Scott, but he’s got one hell of a big cock. It barely fits in his boxers!” Kelly smirked. “I couldn’t even fit the whole thing in my mouth!!”
“Hmmm… Big dick, he fucks… well, Bob matches at least one of those qualities.” Carmen shrugged.
“I still can’t believe you fucked Ben. Kelly… he’s like a brother!” Timber whined.
“If your brother had a big dick, you’d fuck him too.” Kelly shrugged deviously.
“I would not! You obviously don’t have a broth--- wait! You do have a brother!!!” Timber shouted, covering her face with her hands. “That just makes it worse!”
“You know I meant idiomatically.”
“Kelly, you used to be such a prude! When did you become what you are now? You’ve changed!!!” Jeanine said, shaking her head.
“And I’m liking it.” She said in time with Carmen.
Kelly giggled. “Ladies, I’ve arrived.” She said, grabbing her glass of sparkling water.
“You certainly have.” Timber agreed with a shrug, grabbing her own champagne glass of Clearly Canadian.
The other girls grabbed their glasses as well, sensing a moment on female liberation.
“Everyone make a toast!” Carmen proposed. “Mine is to Timber. I love you, and if you don’t get eaten out within a month, call me and we’ll work something out.” She said, eliciting giggles in her friends, especially Timber.
“I make a toast to Angela. May she benefit from Scott’s amazing services… and let me borrow him every now and then.” Jeanine followed suit, tipping her glass towards her best friend.
“Jen!” Angela chuckled.
“Hey! I’ve got needs!” Jeanine shrugged.
“Well I can identify with that one!” Kelly accorded. “I make a toast to Carmen. May Bob fuck you until your head caves in.”
“Lord knows I need it.” Carmen added.
Angela raised her glass. “I guess I’ll toast Jeanine.” She said. “May you find the perfect guy who treats you well, makes you laugh, and gives you orgasms every day of the week and twice on Sundays.”
“Amen!!! Hallelujah!” Jeanine exclaimed, dropping her head back and giggling. Her hair swept down her back.
By then the group of girls were laughing so hard they could barely hold up their glasses.
“That’s all a girl really needs anyway! I’ve got it! All I need now is a guy who fucks!” Carmen pointed out.
“Excuse me? Can someone get a dick in her pussy?” Kelly asked, causing the laughter to increase.
“You guys are horrible!” Timber shook her head. “I have a toast. This is for Kelly: May she find big penises wherever she goes!” she rhapsodized.
“Now I give that an Amen!!!” Kelly giggled, raising her class.
“To friends!” Timber said, again mocking the situation as she clanked glasses with her friends and put her middle finger up. She put her glass to her lips, taking a deep swig. “Now who the hell is going to do my damned nails?”
* * *
“I wonder what the girls are doing right now.” Bob mused, laying back on the far bed in his boxers, fresh from the shower.
“Probably doing each other’s hair and talking about makeup.” Clint snorted, laying on his back on the other bed.
“Yeah, like they did in Grease. I can totally picture them singing that song… prancing around the room in negligees…” Bob chuckled, sitting up partly to see what Dave was doing on the other side of the room where he was tearing through his duffel bag of clothes. “Whatcha up to Davey? Giving head over there?” he asked.
Dave paused to humor his brother’s statement with the flippage of the bird in his twin’s direction. Bob just snickered.
“I need to get off badly.” Clint commented, rolling onto his stomach. “Seriously. I haven’t gotten any play in what seems like forever.”
“I got play this morning.” Bob snickered. “And last night.”
“And the day before that and the day before that… see, now you’re just boasting.” Clint pointed out, looking up as Scott escaped the small bathroom with the steam from his shower stretching it’s claws in his pursuit.
His older brother had only a towel cinched on his waist and his shaggy hair was spiked up from the shower. He paused, seeing his brothers stare at him simultaneously. As the moment passed, he continued into the room.
“Well if it isn’t the man of the hour himself.” Clint smirked, moving over as Dave plopped down beside him on the bed, dressed in a Japanimation tee-shirt and sweatpants, intending to go to sleep.
Scott blushed lightly, grinning and starting to delve into his duffel bag which was set up on the small wooden desk in the corner by the window and lamp. “Oh cut it out.” He said, trying to suppress a giggling smile that wanted so badly to take shape on his features.
“Oh you love it.” Bob teased, pointing accusingly and laughing. “I bet you were thinking about it all the time you were in the in the shower. But I’m so happy for you Scott, seriously. That’s really awesome that you and Angela did it.” He continued supportively. “I mean, you guys love each other and she’s beautiful and has great boobs and a great ass…”
“Oh man she has a great ass.” Clint added vehemently, tucking his hands under his cheek as he faced Bob from his position on his stomach. “Out of all our girls, I’d have to saw Angela has the best ass.”
“And I’d have to second that.” Dave added despite his mood which was supposed to be glum due to the subject matter.
“What?!” Scott exclaimed, turning around after getting his boxer shorts situated. “What are you losers doing staring at my girlfriend’s ass?” he demanded.
“How can we not? God Damn that’s an ass if I’ve ever seen one. Man… I would love to have five minutes with that ass just to totally fuck the hell out of it. I would tear that shit up like a kid does wrapping paper on Christmas morning…”
“Clint! Shut the fuck up! That’s my girlfriend you’re talking about! Don’t ever look at her ass again!” Scott exclaimed, clearly growing rather angry at the fact that his girlfriend’s body was not just his to marvel over.
“I’ve been checking Angela’s ass out since the day I met the girl. I’m not going to stop now. She’s so fuckable…” Clint continued, feeling freed as he released this pent-up information. He rolled onto his back staring up at the ceiling in reverie. “I mean, damn. Baby got back.”
“Shut the fuck up Clint. I’m not joking. If I catch you looking at her ass again…” Scott started to warn, stepping forward as a method of intimidation.
“Okay! Okay!” Clint exclaimed, holding his hands up in surrender. “Chill man. But just so you know, I can see her ass anytime I want to. All I have to do is close my eyes.” He smirked. “See?” he asked, shutting his beautiful brown eyes and smiling. “Ahhh, her ass in those tight-ass black pants…”
“Stop it!” Scott shouted, stabbing his finger in his brother’s direction. Bob and Dave merely continued to guffaw relentlessly.
“Oh wait!” Clint exclaimed suddenly, sitting up with his eyes still closed. “Her ass in those ass-tight jeans… oh! But now there are four… five… no… six of her asses, all dancing around my vision like a kaleidoscope! Oh… hark! Now there are a million of Angela’s asses all bowing down to me!”
“I’m going to kick your ass!!!” Scott threatened, attempting to dive at Clint. Bob caught him recklessly, still unable to control his laughter.
“Hey! Now there’s Angela’s ass, Jennifer Lopez’s ass, and Britney Spears’s ass… and… they’re in a deathmatch!!! They’re fighting to the death! Wait… no… they’re not fighting… they’re… they’re making friends!!!”
“Shut the fuck up Clint!” Scott fumed.
Clint reopened his eyes, sensing his commentary was becoming more than a joke with his eldest brother. “I’m kidding man. But her ass is really nice.” He smirked.
“You’d just better stay away from her.” Scott continued, finally sitting down on the bed with Bob. “I’m not joking.”
Clint giggled childishly, batting his eyelashes at Scott.
“Angela has a nice rack too man.” Dave commented.
“Okay, cut it out, all of you! You’re not allowed to check out my girlfriend.” Scott clarified.
“Hey man, she’s a chick! She’s going to get checked out.” Dave informed him, no longer in the mood to be mad.
“Kelly has a nice rack too though. I mean, those things are pretty damned big.” Bob added, sitting back Indian style.
“Jeanine… those are some grade A tits too though. They’re not too big or too small.” Clint put in. “Just right.”
Dave smirked. “I hear you with that one.”
“Boobs; Scott Moffatt approved.” Scott smirked, giving his brother’s two thumbs up.
“Who do you guys think has the best thighs?” Bob asked, leaning over to his right so his elbow was rested in the soft pillows and he lay on his side to face his fellow triplets. His hair fell over his cheek and he brushed it aside in pensiveness.
“Angela.” Clint nodded.
“Dude, what’s with the ‘let’s love Angela’ mood you’re in right now?” Dave asked, curious as to what set on his brother’s sudden obsession.
“Dude, she’s hot!” Clint pointed out. “And her thighs are perfect. Come on, they are.”
“Carmen has nice thighs too.” Scott added. “She’s got a very athletic physique.”
“So does Jen.” Clint and Bob said in unison.
“That’s because she and Timber do ballet and jazz and shit.” Dave explained.
“Since when?” Bob asked.
“Since like… a long time.” Dave said, disbelieving that his brother’s wouldn’t know such a common detail. “Well, Timber didn’t do it freshman and sophomore year, but Jen has consistently done dance. Haven’t they told you that story? That’s how they met and shit.”
“So what does that have to do with thighs and titties?” Clint asked.
“Dude, you really do need to get your rocks off.” Scott agreed.
“Well, when you do ballet you get really muscular legs.” Dave said with a casual shrug. “Ballet dancers actually have more muscle than your average football player.”
“Timber doesn’t have muscley legs.” Clint pointed out. “She’s got chicken legs.” He snickered.
Scott shook his head. “No, Timber’s too skinny. Actually, she used to be too skinny when we first met her and stuff, but now’s she’s way too skinny. I think it’s kinda gross. She’s a little too skinny for my tastes.” Scott said slowly, in deep thought.
“Yeah right.” Clint snorted, finally deciding to sit up Indian style with his elbows rested on his knees. “Big or small, you love them all.” He teased.
Scott slowly nodded, his face breaking into a grin. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.” He chuckled. “But she could still stand to gain about twenty or so pounds. I hate skinny chicks. I mean, that’s kinda gross when you can count the girl’s ribs and shit. If Angela lost any weight, I’d be so grossed out!”
“So? You’d still fuck her.” Bob finished for his brother. “Once a horn-dog, always a horn-dog.”
“Who has the best smile?” Dave asked, interrupting his brother’s thoughts.
The other three looked at him incredulously. “Dude, Dave, you really need to get that fixed.” Clint commented. “Hot chicks? We don’t care if they smile or not.”
The attention of the boys shot to the door as a knocking sound resounded from the other side of it.
“Who’s that?” Scott asked quietly, in case they were to be faced with a dangerous situation.
Seconds later, the door opened and Frank peeked his head in to see his four children seated in a gathering. “Hey boys, what’re you up to?” he asked, half-turning to shut the door soundly behind him.
“Nothing.” The four said in unison, exchanging brief looks due to the oddness of the moment.
“I’m glad I caught you before you went to sleep.” Frank commented, pulling the chair out of the desk and setting it up so he could face his sons. “I wanted to have a talk with the four of you.” He said, holding up the small, brown paper bag in his possession.
* * *
“Now I know you boys are sixteen and seventeen, nearing the realm of being men at a pace I’m not sure I’m too comfortable with, so it’s no surprise if you are sexually active.” Frank Moffatt began in a very serious tone.
At the mention of the word sex, all four boys cringed, causing a ruckus as they individually voiced their disgust for their father’s mentioning of the subject.
“Oh come on you boys, it’s going to happen whether you want to hear it or not.” Frank said. “We’re going to have the talk, so just take it and it will be over. This is harder for me than it is for you, you know.” He informed them.
“Eeeeew, Dad!!!” Clint whined. “I don’t want to hear it! That’s so nasty!”
“Yeah Dad! We don’t need to talk about sex with you! You’re… you’re…” Dave began, searching for the correct term.
“OLD!!!” Bob finished for him, wrinkling his nose.
“Yeah, and it’s really only Scott who needs this talk anyway.” Clint snickered.
Scott blushed a deep shade of red, wanting to hide his face in the pillows. “Shut up Clint.” He snapped.
Frank held his hands up for attention. “If you boys think I’m blind to what’s going on in my own house then you are most certainly mistaken.” He informed them coolly. “Because I am your father and I know all. Plus, the bras, peculiar noises, and the fact that I walk in on one of you making out with a girlfriend nearly everyday are pretty telltale.”
Bob suddenly blushed like his older brother. If his father knew what went on in the house, he was in trouble. As he had imagined they would, Carmen and her out-of-control vocals had gotten him in a big mess.
“… and I understand your needs to explore your sexual identity…” Frank continued, recited straight out of a parenting book he had stumbled upon at the book store that afternoon while taking a much needed walk to clear his thoughts after the encounter in the kitchen with Scott and Angela. “And I think it’s best if I’m up-front with you and you four are up-front with me rather than hiding things. I want you to establish a mode of trust with me as your father and I want you to feel as if you can approach me and talk to me about this sort of thing.”
His sons were suddenly silent, each giving their father a blank look.
“Where did you get that shit from?” Scott asked, tugging a pillow onto his lap and resting his arms forward on it. “I mean, that was straight from the ass Dad.”
Frank cracked a grin, one that made it known where Scott got his signature smirk from. “I guess that was straight from the ass, eh?” he accorded. “So I’ll just be up-front about it.” He resolved.
“Or you could pretend this never happened and leave right now.” Bob said hopefully, finding the situation all too embarrassing.
“Or not.” Frank simpered holding up the paper bag. He reached deep inside it and smiled, extracting a familiar box. “These are condoms.” He said. “Condoms are good. Condoms are your friends.” He added, grinning brightly as if he were advertising the condoms. “ALWAYS USE THE CONDOM.” He added sternly for effect. “Scott… did you use a condom?” he asked carefully.
“DAD!!!” Scott whined. “Don’t ask probing questions!”
“I’m your father, I need to know these things!” Frank informed his son.
Scott was beet red and rather angry. He released a labored sigh, gritting his teeth and rolling his eyes back in an irritatedly supercilious fashion. “Dad… of course.” He muttered, not wishing to broadcast this news but knowing he needed to assure his father somehow.
“Good.” Frank smiled. “Now I want you boys to each have one of these.” He continued, passing the box to Bob before taking three more out of the bag and tossing them to his other sons.
“Cool! Free condoms!” Clint grinned, opening his box.
“Not like you’ll be needing them.” Bob smirked, already taking one out of the package and putting it to his lips. He blew into it, inflating the device like a balloon.
“Bob, those go on your penis, not in your mouth.” Dave smirked cheesily.
Clint and Bob broke into immature giggles. “Penis!” they screamed in unison. “Oh! Remember that game!” they said again to each other in that odd, simultaneous shout they could master at any given time. This caused more laughter.
“Penis.” Bob said in a whisper.
“Penis.” Clint said a bit louder.
The boys continued to take turns saying the taboo word, each time a bit louder than the other brother. It wasn’t long before they had forgotten the matter at hand and were shouting “penis” at the top of their lungs, fighting to outdo one another. Scott just looked on while Frank and Dave chuckled.
“See, that’s exactly why you guys don’t get any.” Scott informed them coolly. “If you were wondering, that’s why.”
Bob and Clint recovered from their laughter. “Hey man.” Bob said sternly. “My girlfriend’s literally begging me to have sex with her. I’m the one turning her down.”
“Which is beyond me anyway.” Scott said dryly.
“Hey guys, I’m trying to give you some sex education.” Frank cut in. “I want you to be prepared.”
Bob shook his head passively. “Look Dad, I already know everything there is to know about vaginal discharge and all that stuff, so you really don’t have to tell me.”
Scott made a look of disgust, scooting away from his brother on the bed. “Sick man! Watch your mouth!”
“Yeah, Jeanine definitely does have the best thighs.” Clint stated as an afterthought.
Dave raised an eyebrow at him. “Ooooookay…”
Frank finally rolled his eyes. “I can see you boys are in the mood to be uncooperative.” He stated. “Just as long as I made the effort. As a final thought, I want to say this; always use a condom. Life’s so much easier that way.” He shrugged, once he knew he had his son’s full attention. He smirked. “Now if you don’t mind… I’m going to exercise that advice right now.” He said, holding up the last box of condoms in the paper bag and grinning.
“EEEEEEEWWW!!!!” The four boys whined in unison, all covering their ears at the same time.
Frank chuckled, getting up from his seat. “Hey, I have needs too, you know. I’ll see you boys in the morning… maybe.” He joked, taking pride in being able to disgust them at any given moment.
“Sick Dad! Get outta here!” Bob shouted, throwing a pillow towards his father.
“Yeah man, that’s nastilicious!” Clint shouted, pretending to gag himself with his finger.
“Disgusting!” Scott added vehemently.
“Gross-a-mundo!!!!!” Dave put in, squeezing his eyes shut as if to block out the thought.
“Goodnight boys.” Frank grinned, shutting the door.
And thus ended his first, and most-likely final, attempt to teach sex-education to his sons.
* * *